𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘. Han Seojun

𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐨𝐧𝐞 - 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐬

𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐔𝐌 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐍𝐎𝐓 come to school the following day, she decided she needed a mental break after everything that had happened. But her staying home did not mean she wasn't stressed, she was and it was taking over her mind like a poison that spreads quickly.

Not only did she receive calls and messages from people she knew at school, she even received messages from people she didn't know threating both herself and her mother. This caused the girl to turn her phone off completely and go into a downward spiral mentally as she was now scared for both her own and her mothers' wellbeing.

Today, her mother was going for her checkup and despite Areum practically begging her to bring her along, her mother told the girl to stay put. "Rumi, I am an adult woman, I can take care of myself. And you need a break, I don't want to drag you along with me." this did nothing to ease Areums' nerves.

"But mom!" she exclaimed "I can't sit at home all day, just let me come with." her mom gave her a stern look and crossed her arms "No means no Areum. I am not going to change my mind so stop behaving like a toddler. I know that what happened yesterday is still weighing on you mind, and that is why I am telling you to stay put." she turned to the door "Now I'll be back soon, don't call me unless it's an emergency."

And with that her mother was out the door. Areum grit her teeth and kicked jer couch, which caused her more pain than she wanted to admit. Nonetheless, the teenager found herself going upstairs, back into her makeshift bedroom as she was still scared of stepping a centimetre inside her old room. In her mind it was like stepping into something holy when you knew you didn't deserve to be there at all.

But as she passed the door of the aforementioned room, she couldn't help herself but glare at it. What was it that made it so hard for her to just step inside? For gods sake she used to do everything in that room when she was younger. So what was stopping her now? Was it guilt? Was it anger? Was it her anxiety? The girl had no clear answer, it could've been a mix of everything, to be fair.

The more she stared at the door, the more angry she felt by its presence in her mind. And so with a weak resolve she opened the door aggressively and looked at the inside of the room. She sucked in a breath just from looking at it, it hadn't changed at all. Her anger was quickly forgotten and replaced by guilt, fear and her anxiety.

With shaky eyes she looked around only to find that nothing had changed. Their childhood toys, instruments, furniture, clothes, art works, it was all there. As if time had stopped the moment Areum moved to America with her father, and Seyeon moved into the dorms with his members.

It did not even have dust or spiders in it, it was pristinely clean and looked as if it was stuck in a time capsule. Seems like her mother cleaned the place more ofthen than not. The walls were a neutral blue color which had begun peeling at some places, but it still held on as best as it could.

She slowly stepped in, admiring how the light from the window fell on their twin bed they used to share. Areum moved towards it and sat down, being a bit too tall for the bed at this age and height. But she felt as if she was compelled to sit down next to her old friend, her plushy bunny she used to play with all the time "Hi Bae." she greeted the inanimate object. "I haven't seen you in a long while."

The doll was a mix of pink and white with a pink bow on one of its ears. She remembered how her and Seyeon made their parents buy them these dolls at one fair. She let out a sigh "I don't even know what I'm doing here Bae." she hugged the doll as she laid down and looked around "Everything is going wrong, and I don't know what to do." she let out. "I'm utterly lost."

"I can't help but feel as if I'm cursed to suffer because of something I did." the light now fell onto Seyeons' toy, a white and green turtle he had named Yujin after his crush when he was eight. "No matter what I do, be that good or bad, I or someone I care about end up suffering." Areum said as she picked up Yujin as well.

She looked at the old toy "I don't want mom, or Seojun or Gowoon to suffer or get in trouble because of me." she explained to the two dolls sitting near her "But I don't know if I'm strong enough to handle every that's happening. I don't know how I'm going to face anyone when I come back to school." she sighed remembering she was going to have to finish off this school year.

"I just wish Seyeon was here, things would've been so much better." right then a book from his side of the room caught her eye, she recognised it as the twins' shared diary they kept as preteens. Areum went to pick it up, dusted off the nonexistent dust and sat back down on her old bed. The cover was made by the two, cutting and gluing pictures together to form a somewhat cohesive cover, their names written below the picture in the middle.

Areum jumped through the pages as most of them were filled with drawings or writings that the two thought we're so good for their age. She could not help but get a giggle out of a few writings she found to be pure nonsense, but what could she expect, they were only twelve. Near the end of the book there was a picture of the four of them as kids glued, Seyeon and Suho on one side with wide smiles and Areum and Seojun on the other side giving each other bunny ears. She could hear the giggles just from the picture alone.

Beside it, in Seyeons writing it said 'The three S's plus Areum-i' and bellow it there was a small message written 'Also Seojun has a crush on Areum-ah' she shook her head in laughter at how childlike Seyeon had once been, before the incident. The last three pages were empty, left for Areum to fill with whatever her heart desired, but she had no heart to do it without him. "I guess we're going to leave this as a relic of the past Bae and Yujin. You guys agree?"

Of course she got no response but she still smiled. At least her mind had been cleaned of off the thoughts she had prior. She picked up the two dolls and the diary, leaving the room as it was, before heading back to her makeshift room. She put the diary down next to her bedside table and laid down on her bed with her new toys in tow. The front door opening was heard from downstairs "I'm home!" her mother exclaimed and Areum ran out of her bed "How was the checkup? What did the doctor say?"

(𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 ♡ 𝐚𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒)