Survivor's Guilt

VIII (You Sin for Fun and Fall Away)

My session with Doctor Kincaid leaves me wiped out and with the makings of a migraine. Lilith seems uncomfortable, she shifts restlessly inside of me. I walk to my crew helping them with unloading the trailer and setting up the displays. We broke for lunch, and Amias was already spoiling us with his home cooking. I catch the eyes of Otto and Johnny on the grounds. They offer their assistance to the stage crew dutifully playing mediator. I can sense the rift between them—the aftermath of War's influence.

"Okay, Cap, time to tell us what kind of supernatural rollercoaster we're riding," Amias sets a plate on my lap. Lilith shifts uncomfortably inside of me again. She's hungry, I can feel it. She will have to wait. We made our agreement.

"The Prince of Pride and the Four Horsemen," I answer.

"Dios Mio! Lucifer!" Kambria makes the sign of the cross taking her rosary out of her pocket. Toshi begins to rub her back in comfort.

"So, we need to play detective again?" Milo takes his plate from Amias. "Do we have enough holy water to test everyone?"

"There is a fault to your logic, Milo."

Otto's voice makes us jump. Nadine and Kambria jump into the laps of their significant others. He doesn't apologize he only swipes a sandwich off the plate intended for our chef. I'd have thought he would've been taught some semblance of manners.

"Who are you?" Milo asks.

"Otto Lucke." He introduces himself. "I'm here to tell you that holy water does not work on the horsemen. It doesn't work on father either."

Our group goes quiet, absorbing his words. How were we supposed to figure this out? Holy water had officially been taken off the table. We were back to square one, back to a level of paranoia and distrust. Otto sees the panic in our eyes, especially mine.

"Do not fret, Miss Porter. I can see their true faces."

"You can?!" My eyes go wide. "Does that mean--"

"I can see Mother inside of you." He whispers so only I can hear. "Yes, I can, do not worry she's still sleeping."

"Will you tell us who they are?" Kambria's voice is barely above a whisper.

He bites his lip looking uncomfortably. I am getting the impression we aren't supposed to be privy to this information. I'm once again curious as to how old he is and what led Johnny to have him possessed. Nadine is the one who places her hand on top of his giving him the sweetest smile.

"I understand if you don't want to tell us."

"Oh no, I want to, but I can't. The boss says so." Otto stands up. "He says that our loyalty is to mother and father."

"We get it, Otto, thank you for helping us." Toshi sets Kambria back in her chair. Otto smiles at the praise disappearing right in front of the group.

Kambria clutches her rosary. Out of habit, I reach for mine. The beads burn my skin, but I don't care taking comfort in their presence. Lilith continues shifting restlessly inside. Her hunger starts to bleed out of her prison. Spencer's description is becoming surprisingly accurate. I eat my food the taste makes my stomach churn. The pain hits the next with less than five minutes before the doors open.

"Cap, you're not looking so hot."

Amias places a hand on my shoulder immediately taking it back. I must be burning up. I give him a reassuring smile. The agreement will keep me in control, right?

You need to get us out of here now, Kaitlynn.

Her voice is strained like it's taking every effort to remain in control. I turn to my friend seeing him put up his hand. He points to the buses and I take that as my cue to leave. I keep my pace steady the pain getting worse. What is wrong with me? I'd been in control, we were fine. Opening the door to Spencer's bus I get myself in front of the mirror in the bathroom.