Survivor's Guilt

VII (Natural Born Sinner)

"We need to talk."

The boys of Ice Nine Kills take that as their cue to grab some breakfast from the catering service. Spencer and I take our seats at the kitchen table. I can tell that he is nervous about something. That makes two of us. After my conversation with Lilith, I passed out waking up fully refreshed. Lilith remained quiet adhering to the agreement that we have in place. I wasn't about to get too comfortable. I knew better than that.

"You first," I say to Spencer. I need the time to mentally prepare. I don't know how he will react to me making my deal. I already wasn't comfortable with the realization that Lilith had been with Lucifer. That I had been intimate with someone who wasn't my husband.

"I attempted to summon Sathanas during Silver Scream Con." Spencer begins. "I thought I could make a deal with him to separate you and Lilith from each other."

"It wasn't an attempt, Spencie. You summoned him and he came to see me. There is nothing he can do. His superior overturned my free pass." I answer. "I know you want to protect me, but I'm not the scared little girl who clung to you in my parent's shed."

"You did everything you could to free me from Dev. You interfered with my deal without any knowledge of its cost. I know you're not that scared little girl anymore. You are a warrior, a vengeful goddess, and I would gladly lay down my life for you." He takes my hand, kissing the top of it. "I will confess that I called on him in the hopes he'd take me as his vessel again."

"Why the fuck would you want that?" I exclaim in a shrill voice.

Calm yourself, Kaitlynn. Some of us want to be able to sleep in peace.

"I wanted to be able to protect you from Lucifer. Johnny may have talked me off that ledge." He looks away embarrassed.

"Talked or knocked some sense into you?" I cross my arm over my chest. "I personally hope it was the option involving violence."

"Will it satisfy you to know that I still have the bruises?" He asks.

"Yes," I answer without hesitation. "Anything else, dear husband of mine?"

"Doctor Kincaid will be on tour with us."

My anger diffuses and curiosity takes its place. What was my psychologist doing on tour? I hadn't told Fearless Records that I had elected to go into counseling. It had been my own personal decision. I also needed to consider that maybe this was not because of me. It could very well be due to the brawl Amias and I stopped last night. My husband crosses his arms over his chest. The ball is in his court now and he looked locked and loaded.

"Your turn to come clean, Kaitlynn." He begins. I flinch out of habit; I was only called by my full name when there was something I needed to answer for. I have to calm my racing heart, reminding it that we were not dealing with Aunt Carolyn. Spencer wouldn't touch me like that. He wouldn't hurt me.

"I've made an agreement with Lilith to avoid blackouts and hostile takeovers," I explain. "Two hours every three days until she gains the strength to create her own vessel."

"Are you sure you can trust her?" He raises an eyebrow.

"I think you know the answer to that question." I give him a pointed look. "I do not trust her any more than I trusted Dev. Right now, it's the best option that we have."

"Anything else that I need to be aware of outside of the conversation with Mother of Demons?"

"The Horsemen are on tour with Lucifer." I sigh heavily. "War is responsible for the fight at the bar last night."

"The fight that you stopped." He takes my hand again. "Who's Cookie?"

"His name isn't actually Cookie. His real name is Arthur Rosinov, Aunt Carolyn met him when she was on tour in the Middle East. He was Black Ops and got injured on a mission. He was forced to retire and she would send me to him during the summers." I answer.