Lose You To Love Me (Mafia Romance)

CHAPTER 65

CHAPTER 65 - THE WORDS I WANTED TO SAY

I knew that no matter how hard Theo tried, this was impossible. The realization sank in that this was truly a hopeless situation, and my whispered reassurance to Theo was more for his sake than my own.

"You will, too."

Theo froze as I said these words. Suddenly, he let go of his hold on me. His hands then clenched into fists, his knuckles white with tension. I could see the struggle in his emerald eyes, torn between his determination to save me and the harsh reality that this was already beyond his control.

I watched him, hoping he could look up and stare into my eyes one last time. But Theo continued to avoid eye contact, his gaze still fixed on my wrists.

He was only inches away, but in this moment, he felt like he was a million miles away.

I wondered if my previous words blaming him for the situation I was in were the reason for his avoidance.

If only you knew.

I just said those harsh words to drive him away, to protect him from the danger awaiting him.

Because that was my only choice.

But, I was wrong.

I had a choice: to trust him, to give him the chance to fight, and to give him the chance to succeed.

But at that cruel moment, I was desperate and scared for his life. I didn't know what else to do. It felt like it was the only way. But now, seeing him like this, the weight of the guilt settled on my shoulders, mixing with the fear and sadness that consumed me.

It's not true. I don't blame you for any of this.

I desperately wanted to say these words to him. I wanted to let him know that I hold no resentment towards him, and assure him that he had given me everything he could, that I appreciated his efforts to keep me safe and feel protected.

Like the Scorpion he was known for.

Yes, he really was like a scorpion with its venomous sting, ready to strike at any threat that came my way--ready to defend me until the end.

I wanted to tell him that he truly delivered and fulfilled his mission well.

But what's the point now?

My time was running out, and the signs of my impending death were evident, whether from the bleeding from the cut on my chest or the explosives attached to my wrist. My strength and will was fading too, and no matter how much I wanted to reassure him, I knew I was a lost cause, that I was dying.

Deep down, I knew that it would be better for Theo to think of me as an ungrateful and horrible person, as someone he could easily move on from. It would be easier for him to let go of the guilt and pain if he believed that I held hatred towards him. It would give him a sense of closure and help him move on from this devastating chapter in his life that my family has brought to him.

As much as it pained me to see him suffer, and feel this distance between us, I knew that freeing him from this responsibility without the burden of my memory was the greatest act of love I could offer him.

Theodore needs to lose you to be himself again. To stay alive.

Andreas' words haunted me, echoing in my mind with every beat of my weakening heart.

Who would have thought these words would come back to me one day? And on the day of my impending end, how ironic.

I couldn't help but think he was really right. Of course he was. He was Theo's advisor for a reason. Andreas truly understood what was best for Theo--that is, without me in his life.