JAY SERIES

When stars fades 18

It's late at night, but you still can't sleep Jay was alongside you, cuddling you on the left side and Estelle on the right. You cautiously removed Jay's hand from your waist and left the bed. You're not sure if your presence will be able to stand next to the man who is causing you heartache.

You grab your jacket on the side because you want to walk outside and get some fresh air, you decide to go into 7/11 to purchase a drink, you don't usually drink but you feel you need it now, since your head and heart can't bear the weight you feel all you want is to forget it for a while.

You were supposed to sit on a bench near the river when you saw a man sitting and smoking a cigarette. When you realize it's Riki, you walk over and sit next him.

You chuckle when you realize Riki is the only person you see every time you have a problem, as if everything happens by chance.

You walked up to Riki and taps his shoulder. Riki was stunned for a moment before recognizing you. He swiftly puts out the fire by putting down his cigarette and stamping his feet.

He gets and eats his menthol candy.

"I'm sorry if you saw that side of me," he said, but you shook your head since habits do not assess people's behavior.

"No, it's fine," you said.

Riki stares into the beer you're holding. You were ready to drink it when he grabbed it from your grasp.

"I'll drink this."

"I'm thirsty."

Riki quickly opened it and drank it, you were going to protest when he instantly spoke.

"Alcohol won't help you since after the effect wears off, the problem will return."

You chuckled.

"At least I had a chance to forget it for a while."

Riki didn't say anything. He just stared at you.

"I want to disappear, because it hurts so bad."

"I don't think I'll be able to endure this pain if I keep holding on to this,"

You take a deep breath and fake a smile. To be honest, you don't want to cry because it makes you feel weak but you can't help yourself, especially when you remember the progress of your relationship with Jay, how you accepted him and how he pursued you until you gave him another chance at love.. and it's made worse by the fact that he's asked you to marry him for the second time.

Riki sighed.

"If you keep doing that, you'll hurt yourself even more," He warned.

"I know I'm not in a position to say this, but if you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer but if you focus on the lesson of that hurt, you will continue to grow."

You couldn't say anything after what he said, all you could do was cry.

Riki placed your head against his shoulder, and you felt that he rest his head on you while patting your back.

"He said he loves me.. He said he's afraid of losing me, but why do I feel like I'm losing myself as a result of what he did?"

"Did you confront him?" He ask.

"I'm afraid.. I don't have the strength to do that." You replied.

"If you're afraid of knowing the truth, remove your expectations from him, in that way, he can't hurt you."

"Remember, it's not your loss if you let go of the person who both makes you happy and hurts you."

"If you lose someone and find yourself in the end, you won," he added.