JAY SERIES

When stars fades 19

"Riki, I don't think there's any progress," you told him.

It's been two years, yet everything feels as fresh in your memory as if it happened yesterday. You have the sensation that you have not completely recovered from the tragedy throughout the years. You want to be happy, but something inside of you says you don't deserve it.

Riki became your Psychiatrist, who would have thought that the unexpected Medical Student you met in the elevator would become your doctor in the future. He was a student when you met him, and now his dream of becoming a Psychiatrist has come true, with the unexpected twist that you are one of his patients.

Riki stated that in order to control your PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, you must tell him everything that happened from the beginning of how you met Jay to how you met him, even the tiniest details of the last portion of the accident.

He explained that if you begin to accept what happened, you would be able to progressively assist yourself to control it whenever the flashbacks occur again.

"Believe me, healing will take place and your vulnerabilities will become your strengths," he stated. You smile at him and take slow breaths as you recall and explain what happened.

As blood streams from your head, all you see before closing your eyes is your daughter's bloodied face with shattered glass on it.

"Estelle."

You want to open your eyes, but you can't move your body, like if you've been paralyzed. Until the next day, you find yourself in the hospital, moving your finger lightly and noticing that dextrose has been injected into you.

Your head is still hurting, but you manage to maintain your gaze inside, in which find someone sleeping on the couch.

"Riki," you said, despite your weakness. Riki moves slightly and glances at you, his eyes widening as he realizes you're awake. He goes at you.

"How are you feeling?" he said, but your main concern was your daughter.

"Where's Estelle?" you asked, but Riki glanced at you as if wondering whether it was the right time to say it, knowing you had just awoken from an accident.

You wait for him to speak up because the longer he is silent, the more afraid you are that something bad happened.

You hold his hand.

"Riki, where's my daughter?"

Riki hesitantly poked the tip of his tongue inside.

"Riki." You said again.

However, the next thing he says will break your heart.

"She's gone... She's dead on arrival."

"Your husband on his way," he explained.

You look at Riki with tears running down your face.

"You're joking.. because I promise Riki, I'll never forgive you if you're also playing with me," you said expecting him to get it back, However, Riki did not.

"No... this isn't real...slap me, tell me I'm dreaming." You reach for his hand to hurt you, but Riki stops you.

"NO!"

"I want to see my daughter!"

"Take me there, Riki! I want to see her!" You scream as you forcibly remove the dextrose from your hand, but Riki prevent you from continuing your actions.

"Stop it, and don't stress yourself, the doctor said you were pregnant."

You gaze at him, trying to understand what he said.