Dear God {completed}

Jesse

So today's the day, I guess.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Dark circles ring round my eyes and my skin looks pale. Nerves cause my stomach to churn and I can't help the feeling of dread the overwhelms me.

Someone is giving me their heart. This is really happening.

After showering quickly and getting ready, I make my way to the hospital with Charlie and my parents.

After a short wait, my name is called and I'm ready to be prepared for surgery. They tell me to quickly scrub my body and change into a hospital gown. It's thin and itchy and only goes up to mid thigh. I hop from one foot to another awkwardly, wondering whether I should ask to keep my boxers on but eventually decide to follow instructions and not make it hard for them.

When I exit, I am holding the gown down so that it doesn't ride up, and the nurse smiles sympathetically at me.

'Its okay dear, you can get onto the hospital bed and put the covers over you,' she reassures me and smiles warmly.

I do as she says and a few minutes later, the surgery is due to take place.

My family file into the room and talk to me in turn. My mom and dad tell me how proud they are of me and that they'll see me when I wake up. If I wake up that is. But of course they don't say that. We hug and my mom kisses my forehead.

Then Charlie comes up to me, and I can tell that he hasn't had much sleep either.

He tells me he loves me repeatedly, and that he's proud of me. He tells me that this is a new opportunity for me and to make the most of it, and that he could never ask for a better brother.

This confuses me. He's acting as if I'm going to die. Am I going to die? There's something they're not telling me and I'm not sure I'll like it.

Charlie hugs me and I feel him kiss my hair. He isn't usually this affectionate, and it baffles me, but I guess that this situation scares him as much as it scares me.

Before Charlie leaves, he whispers, 'remember, I may not always here, but I'll always be here,' pointing at where my heart is. I want to tell him that in a few hours, this heart will no longer be mine but I feel as if this is a serious situation and my humour probably won't be appreciated.

Instead, I say, 'Charlie, as long as you're here, I'm here. I love you bro, and I'll see you when I wake up. Pinky promise,' I hold out my finger but he doesn't take it. He collects me in his arms and hugs me, and when he pulls back, there are tears running down his face.

'Remember that time when you grazed your knee when we were 6 and I told you to stay strong? I need you to stay strong now Jess, and remember that everything happens for a reason. I couldn't live without you, and that's why I have to do this. Look after mom and dad for me, and make the most of your life. Be who you aspire to be and remember, I am always beside you no matter what. See you soon, little bro,' and he talks so fast as if he knows we'll be interrupted.

And it's then that it dawns on me. They can't have found an exact match so quickly. It's impossible.

Unless the match was my twin brother.

Someone isn't giving me their heart.

Charlie is giving me his heart.

Charlie is giving me his life.

I let out a cry and open my mouth to tell him that he's making a mistake. That I can't live without him. I won't.

But before I can say anything, I see my mother give the nurse a look and she nods before pushing a needle into my neck.

A feeling of betrayal overwhelms me as my body numbs and everything turns black.