✓〡i love you, i'm sorry ¹ ( poetry )

xxxi. moving in and out of pain

bury a friend - billie eilish

my front door opens and i barely have any time to realise

that for my inner demons, this could be the moment to make everything right

i can't blame you for fighting alongside,

but when you lose control i don't think i want to be here

i still feel scratches in my heart even though i thought they healed

is it phantom pain, there to remind me that i left my bruises open?

an open window for you to come in and make the pain real?

i don't want you back here and if i have to, i will fight for that

but it's gone now, so you have no argument

you're the loser of a fight that i wish i didn't win

it's the end of a particular discussion that i wish didn't begin

because i'd love to leave the spaces behind and put periods instead

but i'm incapable of waking up and getting out of bed

walking away from you is sitting at my doorstep

it's painfully obvious that i'm incapable of letting you go

my eyes get tired from staring at the floor, tears are shed

if i close them, will i lose you through it?

because it seems like i lose sight of you the darker it gets

you say things come and go, but believe me, i already know

it's a cycle that is bound to happen yet it might be something i can't accept

we killed the solitude of a broken sunset

but could roses bloom on this graveyard again?