✓〡i love you, i'm sorry ¹ ( poetry )

xxxvi. paper cuts

older - gracie abrams

my hand is shaking, the pen in it is scratched

i write promises on skin paper, they're lies one could easily catch

it's an ever-growing list of things to selfimprove

i've been tired for a while and now the pen breaks on the desk

my journal tells me things to change but i don't think i'm in the mood

tempted to throw it in the trash, it's always just about what's next

i'm almost sorry i can't meet my own high expectations

or maybe all i've grown to do is disappoint myself

have done it often before, this it's a repeating cycle type situation

a vip ticket to hell, but this time painkillers won't help

i'm a master at self-manipulation

turns out long sleeves weather is better for my mental health

fake scenarios where i am left all by myself because you let it happen

i wish i knew about it earlier

blame other people for my sorrow because that's just easier

but that won't remove it from my memory, doesn't make me happier

and it's all just in my head, but isn't that more dangerous?

i've been used to this before so i can't pintpoint why it makes me scared

you tend to hurt me with your words but will you kill me through them?

i've been so easy to use because i'm desperate for change

so i suppose you could say that i am partially to blame

if i was more mature i would see that we are better of without eachother

but what's the point anyway if i'll see you again at hell's gates?