Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

44

Nina was a bit disappointed. John didn't apologize and it soured the mood for the rest of the trip. They never really had that kind of exchange before, and she didn't try to explain it any further. He seemed cold and she wasn't the one to try and appease him. She flew back to New York the next day, not saying a word. He didn't accompany her to the airport or anything, but did end up following the plane after half an hour. She was physically tired, exhausted of having to deal with so many people the night prior, and she still would have to come back to work to face him again, wherever the hell he was. She took a nap on the plane, hoping to feel better by the time she arrived. Meanwhile, he slept late, got room service only wearing a robe, and tried to control his emotions. He was offended by her statements, because there was nothing worse in his eyes than being average. He was a gift from God to this world, and for some reason Nina seemed to be happy to throw it all away if she could. It was conflicting because he adored her, but it didn't seem like she liked every single aspect of him. It made him think about the last person who did.

Back at Vought Tower, everybody noticed something was off. Nina came in with her stuff and was polite to the people she passed before going to her floor, but they could feel that her energy was off. She brought her stuff back to her bedroom, avoiding eye contact with her posters, and coming back to her office. Ashley and Annie were among the people she said hello to, and they both knew what had happened. It was like she had a permanent frown for the rest of the day. She immediately sat in front of her laptop to check her emails, and anything else that could be pending because of their trip. It seemed like apart from some calls for partnerships and meet and greets, nothing was out of normal. She messaged Edgar to tell him they were back and got no answer. It felt like that day would never end. Her job was already too stressful, and being angry didn't help. She even relaxed her face once she realized she had been frowning for most of the day.

Homelander went by Nina's office, but didn't come in. Deep down he wanted to apologize, but he was also too proud to do so. He used his supervision to make sure she was well, and she was back to work, staring at her through the walls. She seemed angry, still. He knew it was because of him. He walked to the door, hand inches away from the doorknob. Her smell was all over it, the sweet smell of her skin, her existence. He could've apologized when they were together in DC, but he was disappointed for the fact that she didn't seem happy for who he was. There was nothing better than being with a superhero, he had capabilities beyond any other human, and still she desired an ordinary person. He had been with many other people, Supe women and human women, and they had never expressed that he needed to change. He decided to go up and talk to the Seven, to see if there was any progress with the shapeshifters. He could deal with Nina later.

-

Nina didn't see Homelander for the rest of the day. She was glad work day was over, because being in DC with a grumpy adult and coming back to NYC to still work with him was exhausting. She knew that he was avoiding her and it was better that way. After everything was sorted, she went back to her bedroom to take a good shower. She put on some casual clothes, hoodie and a tank top, jeans and sneakers, and decided to go out. It was night, everybody had left, and the only people around the Tower were security guards and the Supes themselves. She got out and he was leaning on the wall right by the door, waiting for her. He had his arms crossed, as a way to show dominance, which she didn't care at all. She didn't look at him and kept walking. She knew he would say something about her going out at night, so she didn't even give time for him to say anything.

"Going somewhere?", John asked. He tried to do it casually, but the annoyance was audible in his voice.

She kept walking and didn't answer.

"Nina?", he was trying to sound casual, but he failed miserably.

When she didn't answer again, he grunted in irritation and flew with a strong gush of wind to block her from leaving. As he landed, the impact and the wind were so hard it made her stumble. She rolled her eyes and looked at him, finally. He had a frown, similar to the one she had all day, and she frowned back at him too.

"What do you want?", she asked.

He was huffing and puffing like a bull. He was so angry at her for minimizing him. It was so demeaning that he had given her all, and she still wanted someone ordinary. He thought about Stormfront and how she was the only one who loved him for who he was. She never wanted him to hide, but to rule the world with him, to show once and for all that Supes were superior and that people should respect and fear him, and that was his purpose. To lead the world and to make it his empire. But now, looking at his pissed off girlfriend, John could feel nothing but regret. In the end, Stormfront was gone, and Nina wasn't Stormfront at all. He felt like he had done everything to make Stormfront happy, but it failed. She wanted an army of Supes, she wanted a new Reich. He hated the fact that she thought she needed anyone but him. He was stronger than all of the Supes, he didn't need an army. And just like that, she got so disillusioned that she killed herself.

She killed herself because he didn't cave in. She never asked for more, just for that. And he didn't give it to her. He missed her terribly and he wondered if he had just accepted her only wish, she would still be there with him. He couldn't let Nina go. He didn't want her to go. She was just a human, and humans were disposable, but she was Nina. No other human was Nina, and they could never be. He could just berate her, like he did with so many people, but it just wouldn't work. He would just lose her the way he had lost the others before her.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sorry for what I said."

Nina's face softened. He didn't talk to her for almost two days and suddenly he changed his mind. She had no idea why that happened. She remained silent, looking at his eyes. He also relaxed, but now he seemed more embarrassed than angry.

"It made me feel bad," he sighed, looking everywhere but her eyes, "what you said."

"I just wanted us to hold hands in the park," she said, softly, "like many other couples do."

"We can try," he said, "one day."

"Don't do that, John," said Nina, a bit teary eyed, "it breaks my heart when you do."

He brought her close and held her against his chest. He let out a sight of relief, because even being stubborn as he was, he hated that she was angry at him. He had found someone he treasured so much that he was willing to compromise, just not to let her go. He kissed the top of her head, the smell of her curly hair invading him slowly.

"I love you," he mumbled.

"I love you too," she said, lovingly.

They kissed. He felt so free. She didn't even hesitate.