With Hope, the Beginning of Better

Chapter One: A New Normal

Part 1: Return

We've been here forever

And here's the frozen proof

I could scream forever

We are the poisoned youth

Some legends are told

Some turn to dust or to gold

But you will remember me

Remember me for centuries

And just one mistake

Is all it will take

We'll go down in history

Remember me for centuries

Centuries by Fall Out Boy

Kaz

A seagull soared above his head as he looked out at the harbor. Shipments were being dropped off, as per usual. Everyone seemed jovial, unusual for Ketterdam, but Kaz didn't find himself reveling in it, instead complying with a bittersweet mood.

He peered into the distance, watching the ship, the Wraith, diminish into the horizon with time. He would miss her, just as he missed Jesper. However, he felt another emotion presenting itself, tugging itself into a glimpse of a smile.

Pride..of Inej.

Not only had she attempted to help him brave his monsters, but had found a purpose for herself.

That wasn't to say that she had cured him. Not at all. He still kept much of his past hidden away from everyone. There were still nightmares that woke him up in a cold sweat, leaving him gasping for air.

After the first time he'd her hand on that fateful day, he thought he could finally overcome his fears. So he tried for her and for himself. But the moment his lips grazed hers, he'd recoiled, feeling as if he were in the Barge again, drowning, scared for his life but also wanting to finally rest, to give up.

I've avenged you, Jordie, he thought, I made him pay for taking you away from me. There's no reason for you to be disappointed in me now.

So why did it feel as if nothing had changed? While he'd come far, he knew he'd come far, and he was the king of the Barrel, he still put his armor up and still felt the need to be Dirtyhands.

Even when Inej's parents had come, he'd felt competing emotions. He'd felt something close to happiness for Inej, when he heard that laugh again. But he'd also felt sadness, a sort of grieving sensation inside of him, because he could never have that, a family.

Even now, all of the remaining crows had moved on with their lives, except for him. But this was all he could do, all he could be, ruling over his crooked kingdom, accumulating piles of money, and scaring everyone. He didn't know how to be anything else, and that frightened him more than anything else.

9 months later

Jesper