A teenagers journey

The mental breakdown

Tw: swearing

Nick perspective

Well, unfortunately, the progress that we thought Charlie had unfortunately didn't go well Charlie tried to self harm today and it kills me so much. I know he's going through so fucking much and I can't be there to help him I just don't know what to do and I know I know my mom always told me love can't cure mental illness, but if anybody could your mental illness, it would be Charlie and me

I love him way too much and they were talking about maybe keeping him in for one more day which means he would come back until Christmas Eve and that I would have to go really early in the morning pick them up on Christmas Eve make him go home because it's Christmas Eve and I don't think he wants to go home to his parents yet

But I'm gonna try because Jane really hasn't been helping in the situation a lot ad I know that Charlie is safe there and I really hope Eric can help because he is my only hope at this point I love Charlie and I think I know what's best for him, but I can never say that, because so many things happen to him

Charlies perspective

Today I attempted to self harm I don't know. I thought I had all of this process everything. But being trapped in a room drives me crazy and I just don't know what to do. Eric has been helping me throughout this whole thing, but I don't know what to do because he's actually making progress and I love that for him but it does make sense so he's doing so well

I don't know what to do I try every day to love myself and to try and be myself for who I am and for my mental health but it's so impossible I just I don't understand how people are happy when I'm sitting in a mental hospital

Eric has been here for me this whole time he was the first to find out because he is my only friend in this hospital and they offered to have him stay in my room until I was allowed out of my room because when you attempt to self harm you are locked in your room for I think two days

I won't be out until Christmas Eve now which makes me go insane because I just want to see Nick and all of her and all of my friend group but I can't because I can't stop hurting myself and it's so hard

So hard to deal with every single day with the little voice in the back of your mind telling you that you're worthless I like you can't do anything because of one person ben hope the one that has made me want to hurt myself every single day it just hurts

Eric's perspective

today my best friend in this place tried to self harm and I know he was trying to make so much progress but somethings just don't work out for people and he is strong. He made it to a point, but all of those flashbacks from his ex are hurting him. And I wish I could be there for him more and more but it's so hard because I don't understand how it feels with no progress anymore.

Like yes, I still have those the voice in the back of my head telling me that I am also worthless, but I don't have the same feelings that he does in his head, and I wish to extent that I did because yes, our stories are very similar and their parents are so trashy, but I feel like I've made progress and it hurts because I wanna be there for Charlie this whole time that he's in here, but I get out a day before him

Because he hast to stay back a day, but I think he'll be fine. He should be fine he will be fine. I'm confident that he will find his inner self and just try to calm down.

Nicks perspective

I talked to the hospital without Charlie knowing because I didn't know what to do I know that he's hurting and I understand that all of this crap that he's going through. It's absolutely destroyed him and it is destroying me knowing that he isn't OK and that he won't be OK for another little bit

But I know hopefully next week I'll be able to take him home with me, but every time I think about it, maybe it's impossible for him to come home before Christmas They think that he will be able to come home before Christmas, but Charlie isn't that easy to come by his mental health has destroyed him ever since Ben hurt him

And that's not something anybody wants to hear or no or talk about because what Charlie went through is something that nobody should go through ever he was sexually assaulted and that is not something anybody like I said should ever go through Everybody has human rights and they shouldn't be touched by a man or a woman, unless there is physical verbal consent

If a man or a woman touches anybody without somebody's consent, a young age, they are not arrested for this felony and that is absolutely disgusting When you turn 15 you should be able to get arrested but all you can do is press charges and that's not something Charlie wanted to do because he never told his parents

I understand why he didn't want to tell his parents because of how bad Jane is I feel so empty inside without him and I know that Eric is going to help him, and if he doesn't then that's it I don't know what to do without him because he's the only one there

So with everything that's been going on I can't stop crying in my bedroom because I know that Charlie has such a bad mindset because of what Ben put him through

Charlie's perspective

The next day

I feel a little bit better, but I still can't get that was a voice in the back of my head saying that I'm worthless and then I don't deserve a single thing in this world but I don't deserve neck but I don't deserve Eric they don't deserve tao and Elle

Because they're all so amazing and they're so kind with all I can do is just wish that I was hurting myself and that's so annoying but all I can think about is heading home to Nick I love him so much.

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Thank y'all so much for reading this episode I am so sorry about the delay. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I am sorry for breaking. All of you guys hurts, but that ass is what teenagers go through every single day of their life.