Author: MustafaAsad6
Title and Cover: I absolutely love the title. It gives enemies to lovers at first glace lol. The cover is soooo good too. It's kind of a goth 80's vibe. Nothing to change here :)
10/10
Grammar and Spacing: One of the first things I noticed before I started reading was that loooong paragraph. Big no no. It's like when you have a lot of homework to do and you get overwhelmed so you don't do any of it. But when you cut the homework into pieces it's way easier to do. Books are the same in a way. You start a new paragraph when a new character speaks, a new topic comes up, or if neither happen start a new one after about 4-5 sentences. You can also use paragraph spaces to emphasis a point, for example-
"blah blah blah blah(pretend this is a long paragraph."
"I am so screwed"
"blah blah blah"
You see how it put an emphasis on that one sentence? This will def help gain more readers :)
15/25
Plot and Characteristics: I only read the prologue through chapter 3 because, no offence, it would take way to long to review the whole book. Now this does not mean I won't read the whole book on my" own time, but when it comes down to critical review I am only doing prologue-chapter 3.
First of all I love some of your descriptions: "A lady in a sky-blue dress moved towards the stage. Her golden hair cascaded down her shoulders like sunlight, giving her an appearance of ethereal beauty." Wow, really good. Though I will say to not do more than that and maybe another two sentences of a character description. You had like 15 sentences, so I would cut it down a bit.
Your story starts off nicely with a cute scene. Then drama drama drama. Brandon is all of a sudden a drug addict! Of all things I was not expecting that!
I would say though to not do a large time jump. Brandon was 16 in chapter one and what 24? by the end of chapter two. Maybe slow it down a bit.
25/35
Enjoyment: I was a little confused going from the prologue to first chapter because there were completely diff people, but I guess that was just the backstory that I will come to better understand later.
THE ENDING OF CHAPTER 3 OMG!!! I knew something was up with this Eric guy. Like he hated his son for having an attitude and doing drugs? That's literally just being a teen, tho not all teen do drugs. Anyways super good so far :)
25/30
OVERALL: 75/100
I grade harshly so this is a good score, trust. Key tips is to slow things down, don't make long paragraphs, and don't spend too long on character descriptions.
If you have any questions feel free to ask!
YOU ARE READING
Brooke's Book Review - Temp. Closed :(
General FictionThis is just another one of those book review pages. Just fyi, I am a pretty harsh grader especially about grammar, sentence structure, spacing, and wording. Just follow me and message on the second chapter comments for what book you want me to rev...
