Author: @Annalisadonkor
Title and Cover: You have the BEST cover so far! Omg it's so cute and looks like an actual book cover! Blue fire is such a good title because (well I guess because I read it I understand) I think it has to do with Travis eyes. The word fire makes me already know this will be a very passionate and intense book!
10/10
Grammar and Spacing:
Strengths:
The grammar is mostly correct, with no major errors noticed. This is a huge strength! The spacing is consistent, with each paragraph clearly separated. This makes the story easy to read.
Weaknesses:
The writing is sometimes a bit simple. Consider varying sentence structure for more interest. Some sentences are a bit long and could be broken up. There's a bit of telling instead of showing. For example, instead of saying "Nicole never expected her life to spiral", show this through her actions or thoughts.
20/25
Plot and Characteristics:
Strengths:
The premise of a girl getting mixed signals from a boy and getting thrust into his secrets is relatable and interesting. This could appeal to fans of contemporary romance and drama. The addition of the mysterious newspaper clipping adds a hint of suspense. This is a great hook to make readers want to know more.
Weaknesses:
The characters of Nicole and Travis are introduced, but we don't know much about them beyond the basics. Consider adding more description or dialogue to flesh them out. What are their motivations, goals, and backstories? The stakes are somewhat vague.
What are the consequences if Nicole gets involved with Travis? Consider adding more tension or conflict. Will she get hurt? Will she uncover secrets she shouldn't? The plot is also a bit predictable and I would consider adding some twists or surprises to keep readers engaged.
25/35
Worldbuilding:
Strengths:
The setting of a bus and presumably a high school or city is suggested, which gives some context. This is a good start!
Weaknesses:
The setting is not fleshed out. Consider adding more sensory details to bring the world to life. What does the bus and school look, sound like? What's the atmosphere? The world of "deception and secrets" is hinted at, but not clearly defined. What kind of secrets does Travis have? How will this impact Nicole? Is it dangerous? Illegal?
20/30
OVERALL: 75/100
This story has a strong opening with an intriguing premise and good grammar. You do a good job of setting up a relatable situation and hinting at deeper conflicts. However, the characters, setting, and stakes could be fleshed out more to engage the reader. With some revisions, this story can be even better!
I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any questions or want more specific feedback.
This is not my longest review and I took a million years to get it done, but I hope you like it :)
YOU ARE READING
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General FictionThis is just another one of those book review pages. Just fyi, I am a pretty harsh grader especially about grammar, sentence structure, spacing, and wording. Just follow me and message on the second chapter comments for what book you want me to rev...
