Author: @BookLover3062
Reviewer: @fudgk00ki3 (Lee Minji) Please give them lots of love because they went out of their way to help me with reviews :)
Title & Cover: I actually like the cover, but for me I think bright colors when referring to any story along the lines of princesses should be bright colored. The title however could be a bit more creative for your story. With both of them combined together I feel like it could be more inviting!
Bright colors, fancy titles, and also more contrasting colors would bring more readers into wanting to see what you have in store.
Score: 6/10
Grammar & Spacing: The grammar wasn't too bad for me during my reading, but the spacing took a lot away from the flow of my reading. You had a lot of single sentence spacing that makes it feel like I'm continuously reading a sentence in a different tone. I believe if you push those spaces together your story would be much shorter so you can write extra content.
With grammar I suggest watching how often you repeat words within a close proximity to each other. For example: the mention of the town "Eldoria." The name was repeated a lot within the first part, which didn't really immerse me well into it. I would suggest not repeating the name for a couple sentences and instead use place nouns like "there," "this place," etc.
Example sentence: "The next few days were spent trying to get far away from (home/her home/the place she thought was home) as (soon) as possible, heading towards a small town at the edge of...."
Score: 5/10
Plot & Characterization: Not to be mean of course, but the plot feels a bit weak to me. It didn't really feel like it meant a lot to me on what was happening to her because I didn't get to know the characters. With that it's difficult to immerse myself with the plot and see things from the narrator's or character's point of view.
It jumped a lot without many explanations of what happened. One moment the main character is trying to rest from running away from home, to flying with her cousin(?) back to her home to save it from the evil lord. These are what we call plot holes, where parts of your story jump from
Score: 10/30
Overall score: 36/100
This story plot has a lot of potential, with practice in your writing I think it can be a really good story. I think the biggest weakness is the lack of explanation and the plot holes. If you were to practice those things I think it would be amazing!
Also apologies if it wasn't the greatest advice but I'm a self-taught type of writer, so I don't have all the technical writer's devices in my knowledge like others but I wanted to share my opinion in a way that would assist you the most!
But keep practicing! Happy Writing! <3
YOU ARE READING
Brooke's Book Review - Temp. Closed :(
Ficción GeneralThis is just another one of those book review pages. Just fyi, I am a pretty harsh grader especially about grammar, sentence structure, spacing, and wording. Just follow me and message on the second chapter comments for what book you want me to rev...
