The World Cannot Know

Chapter 26

Prince Sebastian 

As I closed the door behind me, the weight of the morning's events settled heavily on my shoulders. I leaned against the wooden frame for a moment, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. The air in the hallway was cool, a stark contrast to the warmth and intimacy of the room I had just left.

I started walking down the corridor, each step echoing softly in the quiet castle. My mind raced with the conflicting emotions and responsibilities that were tearing me apart. The guilt of betraying Katharina, the fear of losing Matthew, the pressure to produce an heir—all of it swirled in a chaotic storm within me.

The sitting room came into view, and I entered and sank into a chair by the window, staring out at the gardens. The morning sun cast long shadows over the neatly trimmed hedges, a picture of serenity that sharply contrasted with the turmoil inside me. I reached for the decanter on the nearby table, my hand trembling slightly as I poured a generous measure of brandy into a crystal glass. I lifted it to my lips, the rich, burning liquid offering a fleeting sense of warmth and numbness as I drank.

I replayed the conversation with Matthew over and over in my mind. His words had cut deeply, exposing truths I had been trying to avoid. "This isn't fair to her, or to us." He was right. We were living a lie, hurting Katharina in the process, and the guilt was eating away at both of us.

Yet, the thought of losing Matthew was unbearable. He was the one person who made sense in the chaos of my life. His company and support were the only things that kept me grounded. The idea of being without him, even temporarily, was a pain I couldn't easily face.

I had tried to rationalise my actions. Katharina and I had an understanding, or so I thought. She was worried about producing an heir, and that was our duty. But our wedding night, and the nights that followed, had been filled with a different kind of longing—a longing for Matthew that I couldn't shake, and each moment I spent with him the longing increased. Like he was a drug that I needed to keep me sane. 

I sighed deeply, running a hand through my hair. The weight of my crown, metaphorical and real, pressed heavily on me. I had responsibilities, and those responsibilities demanded sacrifices. But at what cost? How much of myself was I willing to lose in the name of duty?

"Wallowing in self-pity are you there?" Marcus called out

I looked up, startled out of my thoughts by Marcus's voice. He stood in the doorway, a wry smile on his face, but his eyes were sharp and assessing. Marcus had always been able to see through my facade, a skill that was both infuriating and comforting.

"Just thinking," I replied, trying to sound casual. "What brings you here?"

Marcus walked into the room, his steps deliberate and confident. He took a seat across from me, leaning back in the chair with an air of relaxed authority. "I was looking for you. Heard you and Katharina cut your honeymoon short."

I sighed, the weight of the conversation with Matthew and my own turmoil pressing down on me. "I don't even want to talk about that."

Marcus raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. "That bad, huh? Did you lose another chess game to her or something?"

I managed a small, reluctant smile. "If only it were that simple. I wish losing a chess game was the worst of my problems."

Marcus leaned forward, his expression mischievous. "Come on, spill it. Did she outsmart you again? Or maybe you two had a heated debate about the proper way to fold a napkin?"

I chuckled despite myself, appreciating his attempt to lighten the mood. Then a sudden thought hit me. What does he actually know? Did Matthew say something while drunk out of his mind yesternight?