Chosen // loki laufeyson

Chapter Forty Two

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Chapter Forty Two

Lienna

My body shook in his arms; even more so when he pressed his lips on mine and a knife against my throat.

I wanted to scream. Does he not know what love feels like?

I knew the only place he had ever felt love was me, and the thought was so sickening I almost threw up. Unfortunately, I hadn't eaten for hours, at least, and the prospect of food just made me sicker.

I had no idea where I was because I refused to open my eyes most of the time and the rest of the time Ander had pressed me against himself in a harsh embrace. He was scarred and his face no longer seemed glowing and handsome. His eyes were dark and sunken in, and his skin was pale and sickly. In a twisted way, one might have seen him as attractive, but I knew his soul held nothing for me but despair.

Svendrel was there, wherever we were, and he was in no better condition than his son. His eyes were glazed over as if he was possessed, which I had no doubt Ander had done exactly that. He had lost weight and seemed broken beyond repair. Svendrel was in no proper mental state, perhaps due to his son. My heart hurt a very small bit for him, he may have been a slave owner but he certainly wasn't the worst man, and his son had done quite a bit since I left evidently.

I should have known the very moment he told me to not fall in love. I should have warned someone about his suspicious actions.

Lienna, you have no position to dwell on the past right now. You only have time to survive.

The room we were currently in was dimly lit, and a few of Ander's possessed helpers stood guard by the door. Ander laid beside me on a sofa, his head resting on my legs.

Suddenly, he stood up, frightening me. I quickly composed myself as he dismissed the guards, even though what came next was never pleasant.

"Lienna, come here," he commanded, his tone filled with false affection.

I nodded, pushing my aching body up off the sofa. I closed my eyes as soon as I stood in front of him. It was best not to know what he was doing.

He didn't waste time in idle conversation; Ander was kissing me and I was not reacting. I knew it would infuriate him beyond measure but I was numb to anything that happened.

If I died, it was better than spending the rest of my life in a one sided relationship with Ander, my constant abuser and deranged lover and knowing that Loki would be utterly crushed to know he would never have me back.

I winced at the thought, and Ander noticed. He took my face in his hands, studying me. Ander's eyes were harsh and victimizing, and I got the intense feeling of wanting to die as they scrutinized me.

"What's wrong?" Ander asked, his voice cold and hard. He didn't care. He just wanted my love, and he aimed to get it in any way he could.

"Nothing."

His hands tightened, hurting my jaw. "What is wrong?"

I sighed. "Do you really want to know what is wrong? Ander, I realize I left you while we were engaged, but that was by no choice of mine. I fell in love, and it wasn't with you. I never did fall in love with you. Would you be able to sleep well at night knowing that I slept next to you in agony because I felt nothing but pity for you? Would you be able to go on happily with yourself knowing that being your wife would be absolute torture to me? The Ander I knew would not. He would understand. You've become twisted in your hate, and that is something I could never love."

He clenched his jaw. I could feel the anger and betrayal radiating off of him. I also knew that he felt deep down what he was doing was wrong. He did it because he knew it was wrong, and he loved the feeling of it. Ander loved the feeling of having me when he knew he would never truly have me, but he knew it was wrong.

I could feel the familiar sting of the knife blade against my throat; the metal digging into my skin painfully, yet I welcomed the thought of it ripping through me now.

"Do not speak to me about that," he hissed, pressing the blade farther in.

"If you don't like my actions, then I suggest you push a bit harder on that blade," I replied, emotionless.

A fire was lit in his eyes, and my stomach dropped. He's actually going to do it. I'm going to see my parents again!

I closed my eyes, feeling an odd, sweet sense of peace filling my body. My mind went completely still; the only thought in it was one of love.

I found my true love, I married him, too. I found love of a different kind for Thor, and Frigga and Jane. I love my parents, and I'm coming to them. I'm returning to the love I entered the world with.

The pain from the knife never came. The peace still resounded throughout my body, however, so I assumed the pain of death was a myth.

I gathered the confidence to open my eyes, expecting a hero's welcome from the Valkyries, or my parents waiting with open arms, or any number of things.

I did not expect to see Loki beholding me with a teary-eyed look of the utmost love and passion, yet there he was, taking me in with years rolling down his cheeks and a smile on his face.

I must have looked instinctively confused and upset because he rested a hand on my cheek and said "Smile, my love. If this is the last thing I ever see, I want it to be you, smiling at me."

I wanted to ask him what he meant, but my questions were answered when I saw his other hand pressed on his bloodied torso. I wanted to break out in sobs at the sight of him, but all I could do was smile.

"Lienna, don't stop smiling after I tell you what I'm about to."

I nodded, still smiling, even though tears rolled down my cheeks just like his.

"Love, I might not live to see tomorrow, and I only say that because it's the truth and not because I want you to mourn me as I speak. I want you to know that I love you. I always have, and I always will. I am eternally grateful that you and I were Chosen for each other." His face went even more pale, and he stopped for a moment in pain. "I- I love you."

I watched in horror as his body fell backward before my words could leave my mouth. All I could do was stare at him, my love, with an "I love you," still waiting to be said.

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cliffhangers are my favorite thing i am so sorry

lots of love,
katiethenovelist

also expect another update really soon :)