Chosen // loki laufeyson

Chapter Forty Four

Chapter Forty Four

Lienna

I learned quickly that Loki had destabilized, and his current condition was failing. I didn't quite believe it until we reached the private infirmary room. Somehow, I disconnected from reality as soon as I saw the healers scramble to keep him alive. I sunk into a chair in the corner of the room, totally useless.

Nothing seemed real anymore. The healers' commands flew around the room without meaning or purpose to me, and everything grew uncomfortably distant. My senses were numbed and my thoughts seemed to have been turned off; nothing connected or even made sense, let alone became coherent.

I thought I was dying faster than Loki seemed to be, or so I thought.

Loki's words flew around my head quicker than I could stop them. I will survive this.

I closed my eyes, feeling his arms around me, the cold of his kiss and his body, the chills I got from hearing his whispers.

I will survive this, Jotun lines on his skin, the cold I loved so much. Things I knew for sure, not for sure, not at all. Yes, I did. No, I didn't. Yes, I did.

No, I didn't.

I couldn't breathe.

"Don't let him die!" someone yelled; I couldn't place the voice, I couldn't breathe.

The room suddenly became peaceful. My heart filled with a subdued sense of dread. Just then, I could breathe again. Still, nothing felt completely real, as if this was just an illusion of my current state.

The doctors had cleared out of the room, leaving me alone with a familiar man. Immediately my confusion turned to bitter anger.

Odin?

I cleared my throat. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I not visit my own son?" Odin said, expressionlessly.

"Of course you would only visit in a time of grave danger," I muttered bitterly. "That maybe your adopted son's death would finally bring the appreciation he pined for for so long."

"He's not dead, Lienna. You can thank me for that," he remarked simply. "I won't ask you to thank me, however. You and I are not exactly on the best terms, I've noticed."

He infuriated me. The fact that I used to be able to tolerate him was utterly irrelevant now.

I was relieved Loki was still alive, more relieved than anyone would ever know, but I had mixed feelings knowing Odin had saved him.

I bit my lip. "Why are you here, then? You saved him, you visited him, why stay? You can barely tolerate him when he's awake."

"Lienna, at times I do seem the villain in this story we call life, but I can assure you I am not. I care very deeply about him, whether it seems like it or not. He's going to wake up soon, and I am leaving you with the choice of telling him who saved his life or not. Can I trust you to make a wise decision?"

I sighed deeply. "I suppose that's for the both of us to find out."

Odin nodded. "A reasonable response. My best wishes, Lienna. Don't forget to rest after what comes next. You need it."

I dipped my head respectfully. Then Odin left the room.

Sure enough, as he said, Loki began to jolt back into consciousness. It was painful to watch and listen to.

He coughed and choked on the air, and when his breathing finally steadied, they were still shallow breaths. Loki convulsed slightly in pain, and for a moment I was terrified of what was going to happen next, the ring on my finger suddenly more obvious than before. Then, he relaxed, coughing once more before becoming still.

I rushed to his side, anxious to speak to him.

Loki's eyelids fluttered for a moment before opening. His eyes weren't their usual bright emerald green; instead, they were pale and tired looking and tinted with the Jotun red that accompanied the blue skin. Confusion was soon replaced by love as soon as he recognized me. Loki raised his hand for me to take.

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks. All the weight on my shoulders melted away when it finally dawned on me that he was right. He did survive, and his words were no longer empty letters.

"Valhalla almighty," I whispered breathlessly. "I love you." The three words I didn't get to say to him one last time. The three words I would never stop saying to him, ever.

Loki squeezed my hand, his eyes hinting he was about to cry too. His skin slowly lost the blue as he returned to his pale Asgardian form.

I shook my head. "No, no, no, please, just relax. Do not waste your energy on such a petty thing as that. Besides, I find the Jotun form... beautiful."

He seemed apprehensive, considering that the first time I had seen him in his natural state, I was utterly terrified of him. Now, however, it didn't bother me. What bothered me was that he was insecure about it, even when it hurt him to be in Asgardian form and Jotun form was the least painful. It bothered me that even after marriage, he didn't want me to see it.

He closed his eyes as the Jotun lines returned, spreading slowly across his skin. It brought along with it the cold of being a frost giant; the cold I loved so much.

I traced my fingers along his collarbones, feeling him tense up, then relax into the movement. Then, I pressed my lips against his forehead in a gentle kiss. "It's beautiful. Do not ever forget that."

Loki gave a small smile. "Thank you."

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NOT DEAD!!! also important character development for Loki! yay!

-katiethenovelist