My Big Man Baby

Ohm

I just left Gawin standing there as I walked off crying. I really couldn't handle knowing that Thanat was suffering like this, and I couldn't do anything as his big brother.

I was just standing mindlessly in front of the vending machine, my tears dropping as I waited for a drink to dispense, not realizing that I had not even put the money in and kept jabbing the button constantly.

I felt someone pull my hand away, albeit gently, saw the coin drop in, and then the drink came out. I turned to thank the person as I wiped my tears away and realized it was Gawin.

"Come on, I got you. Let's go."

He took the drink for me, buying 2 more, and then we went back to my brother's private ward. My mother was there, and my dad was settling some paperwork. I went into the room, introducing Gawin to my mom and brother. My brother, bless him, was still smiling away even as he was hooked up to a few wires and on the drip.

Gawin politely introduced himself and handed the drinks out.

"I am Gawin, Ohm's colleague. I called earlier, Auntie. Hope it's ok. I came by."

My mum shook her head, saying it was fine. There was silence in the room, and then my dad came back. He was a bit surprised by Gawin's arrival but didn't say anything.

Gawin stood up and greeted my dad politely, too. He just smiled back, thanking him for coming by. Gawin didn't say anything. He just stood close to me when the doctor came by.

"Hello. Here to give some updates and get an idea of the treatment option you have chosen."

There was still silence in the room for a bit until my brother spoke up.

"Let's do the lumbar puncture doctor to get a better idea of my condition".

Thanat's voice was soft but firm. I looked over at him stunned. That poor boy hated pain of any kind and now he was willing to subject himself to a lumbar puncture?!

Gawin must have sensed my pain as he quietly just placed a hand on mine, gripping it softly. My mother started sobbing, unable to still accept the possibility and she left the room. My dad was torn between going after her and speaking to the doctor. Just then, God bless Gawin. He looked at us as he said he will go check on my mother and told me to stay with my dad and brother and discuss the treatment options.

I nodded slowly as he went off. I sunk into a chair, unsure of what to do. Every single option for further diagnosis was painful and to find out if there were other things, was also crippling me. Thanat tried to hold onto my hand for support and to comfort me when the roles should be reversed. There was a bit of a discussion but we eventually decided to do the lumbar puncture which was scheduled for the following day on Monday at 2pm.

I nodded and Thanat just held onto my hand though his tears were dropping. I looked over at my dad who came over to hold onto us. A little while later, my mom came back, accompanied by Gawin who was holding her firmly. She was still red faced and teary eyed but was trying to maintain a facade.

She went over to Thanat and he held her hand, kissing it gently. I let my mom sit with her and moved to stand behind my dad who shielded me as my own tears dropped. Gawin came and stood behind me, just placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I briefly turned to him and uttered, "P....." and held onto him instead. He just held onto me as I sobbed quietly for a bit, the magnitude and reality of everything hitting me.