Fragments Of Love Series Part 2: Healing Love [ SandRay - Only Friends ]

Ray

Dr. Ayan had the papers in front of him. Nervousness was evident on Ray's face as he shifted impatiently in the chair, trying to find a good position. Dr. Ayan wanted to talk to him about the diagnostics and even though Ray was prepared somewhat, though he wasn't 100 percent sure if he felt ready. As soon as Dr. Ayan would open his mouth, read out the diagnoses, there would be no turning back, Ray would get his stamp, a stamp he wouldn't be able to shake.

"Are you ready?" Dr. Ayan smiled confidently at Ray.

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I am a bit scared." Ray's heart was beating like crazy.

"I can understand that, it is a big step that we are taking together today. But you don't take this step alone, I'm with you. OK?" The soothing voice of Dr. Ayan, made Ray feel a bit more at ease, his heartbeat slowing, his breathing evening out again.

"Okay, hit me Doc." Ray tried to smile, but even though his nerves had calmed down a bit, it quickly faded again. Dr. Ayan opened his documents and looked at Ray.

"We talked about how you got a few preliminary diagnoses in rehab, right?" Ray nodded. "A few have been confirmed in my opinion. And I would like to go through each diagnosis with you and explain to you what that means for you. Today we will only tackle the major ones, I will walk you through some underlying problems in another session, is that alright with you?" Ray nodded again, too nervous to bring himself to utter a single word. "Okay, the first diagnosis I want to talk to you about is PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. We've talked about this diagnosis a few times, right?"

"Yes, that was the first diagnosis I got in rehab, I mean apart from my addiction."

"It's also the diagnosis you're most familiar with, right?" Ray acknowledged this with a nod. "We will work to help you learn to cope with the trauma. I will show you techniques to learn to control your flashbacks, anxiety and other trauma related things. A healthy control, not with alcohol or drugs or other things." Ray swallowed hard, on the one hand it was good to know that he wasn't alone in the situation, but on the other hand the diagnosis scared him because it meant that he had to deal with his past even more than he actually wanted to. And it wasn't just the story with his mother, there was so much more. "Ray, these diagnoses don't mean the end of the world, okay? Being diagnosed means we can work much more intensively on your problems and find more specific ways to find the right treatment for you."

"Thank you," was all Ray could say.

"That's what I'm here for, Ray." Dr. Ayan smiled confidently at Ray again. "The next diagnosis I want to talk to you about is your addictive personality, do you know what that means?" Ray thought for a moment.

"It has something to do with my addictive behavior, right?" Dr. Ayan nodded.

"That's right. To explain it as simply as possible. It means that you are very prone to addictive behavior, whether that's drugs, alcohol, or even sex. Anything can become an addiction for you if you're in a certain mindset." Dr. Ayan looked at his records. "It means that it's best to stay away from all addictive substances, including gambling." Ray's eyes grew wide.

"No more sex?" Dr. Ayan had to pull himself together not to laugh.

"Of course you can have sex, and you can continue to smoke your precious cigarettes, although I would prefer for your health if you stopped smoking. But that's your decision, every person has a vice. My point is that you don't use any of your behaviors to punish yourself, or to make yourself feel excessively better. We talked about the situation with Black and how you used sex with him as a substitute to distract yourself from Sand, right?" Ray nodded. "I will help you regulate and control these behaviors and, in the best case scenario, I can help you recognize when you are about to slip into such behavior. And together, I hope that we can work to ensure that you no longer have to resort to addictive substances." Dr. Ayan straightened his papers and read something, then turned his gaze back to Ray. "How long have you been sober now?"