Fragments Of Love Series Part 2: Healing Love [ SandRay - Only Friends ]

The Beginning Of Something New

There was a bright light, it was almost burning Sand's eyes. Slowly, he felt his way along the corridor, feeling the cold stone under his bare feet. In the distance, he could hear a voice calling his name. Sand tried to find his bearings, not knowing exactly where he was. It was cold and incredibly warm at the same time. Suddenly the corridor began to shake, Sand was struggling to stay on his feet. And there it was again, the voice calling out to him, closer this time, not so far away. A familiar voice... Ray?

"Sand, wake up..." Ray shook the other gently again. He had put Sand on the couch and had been trying to wake him up for minutes. He fought the tears and wanted to stay strong for Sand. "Wake up, please... I can't lose you." Ray repeated the words like a mantra as he dabbed the other's forehead and neck with a wet cloth, hoping the coolness of the water would bring Sand back to consciousness.

"Sand, please wake up... I can't lose you." Why would Ray lose him? Why now? Ray had lost him the moment he betrayed him. Sand continued to run through the corridor. He was searching for a door, the end, whatever it was that he needed to get out of this nightmare.

"Ray?" Sand wanted to call out, but no words came out of his mouth.

"Sand?" Ray leaned over Sand, he was sure he had heard a faint whisper. "I'm here," he held Sand's hand, stroking the back of his hand. "Wake up...please wake up."

Wake up? What am I supposed to wake up from? Sand panicked, he ran more and more frantically up and down the corridor. "Ray? Ray where are you?" He looked around, but all he could see were the white walls of the corridor. "Ray!" With a loud scream on his lips, Sand woke up, wrenching his eyes open and sitting down with a jerk. His hand pressed to his chest, his heart pounding in his throat.

"Sand." Ray's eyes reflected relief, tears glistening in them as he looked at Sand. "Damn it...don't ever scare me like that again." His voice shook, and he felt like he was about to be the next one to collapse. But he pulled himself together. "Do you need anything? Do you want me to get you anything?" Sand looked at Ray confused, almost as if he didn't know where he was. He shook his head and rubbed his temples.

"What happened?" Sand raised an eyebrow. "Why are you crying?" Ray quickly wiped the tears from his face and let go of Sand's hand, which he had been holding until a moment ago.

"You passed out." Ray swallowed audibly and fumbled in his back pocket to pull out the pack of cigarettes. Although he would have definitely preferred a glass of whiskey after that scare, the toxins in the cigarettes helped to calm his nerves at least a little. "You scared me." Ray muttered after he had calmed down a little. Sand wore a smug smile on his lips.

"And if I died, who cares?" He sat down facing towards Ray and lit a cigarette as well.

"Don't say that...sand, please."

"Your own medicine always tastes most bitter, huh?" Sand looked up, straight into Ray's eyes. The singer looked tired, worn out, emotionless, simply broken. Ray didn't know what to say to that statement. They were in a stalemate, Sand didn't want to make a move, and Ray couldn't. They were going round in circles. The silence hanging over them weight heavy, and Ray almost felt like he was suffocating.

"I'm glad you're awake," with these words, emotionless and without looking at Sand, Ray stood up. He continued to prepare the food that Nick had brought with him. Even though the previous situation had upset his stomach and he hardly felt hungry anymore, he knew that he should eat something, at least a little something.

The smell of food soon spread through the small apartment. Ray had taken a seat at the kitchen counter. He hadn't paid any attention to Sand for the last hour and had concentrated fully on preparing the food.

"Is there anything left for me?" Sand had taken a seat next to Ray. He pushed the bowl with the rest of the food to Sand, wordlessly, without even glancing at the other. "Thanks." Sand took some of the food and then slowly began to spoon it up.

Ray's mind was racing, and he wanted to smash it against the wall to get even a second's peace. So much destructive stuff had built up in there that Ray felt like he was going to explode at any moment and do something irrational.

"Okay," Ray took a deep breath and turned to Sand. "There are three options, I'm giving you a choice. Because as much as I want you to go through with this withdrawal, if you don't work with me, I'll just end up destroying myself." Ray closed his eyes briefly to collect himself, then looked directly at Sand.

"Option number one is; I leave, leave you to your addiction. I won't look back, you'll have made your decision, and we'll never see each other again." It hurt to even allow that thought. "Option number two, you agree to let me help you. We'll still have arguments, but at least you've chosen life and rehab." Ray lit a cigarette. "The third option, and the last resort, is forced incarceration. And I can tell you one thing, if you choose the first option, Nick will probably choose the third option." Ray took a drag from the cigarette. "It's your choice. I'll give you two hours, if you haven't decided by then, I'll decide for you, got it? I'll go take a shower and change in the meantime." And with that, he left Sand alone, alone with his thoughts and a decision that would affect the rest of his life.

Sand poked at his food. He felt an unbelievable rage in his chest. "Fuck you Ray, of course I'm going to make you fuck off. I don't need you in my life," he muttered to himself. After half an hour, Sand began to pace up and down the apartment. He had become restless, his thoughts only revolved around the pills, which he wasn't going to get to. "If Ray hadn't thrown them away, I could at least concentrate on making a decision." He ruffled his hair and began to scratch his arms to relieve the urge to occupy his hands. "But what am I going to do without him? How am I supposed to live without him?" Tears welled up in Sand's eyes at the thought of never seeing Ray for certain again. "I can't live without him, but I don't want to live with him either." Sand lit a cigarette. "Bloody hell Sand. What have you got yourself into?" He sat down on the floor by the open window and looked out. "Fuck, what should I do?"