My Life As LGBTQ+: Volume 1

Coming Out/Realization

(I posted this like yesterday but then Wattpad randomly deleted it so I'm re-posting it)

This is going to be a long chapter about how I came out, my experience with it, and some tips in case anyone needs advice for coming out.

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By no means are you required to come out if you don't feel it is needed. The only reason I came out was because everyone assumed my sexuality and gender incorrectly and I wanted to update them that they were wrong.
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I'll start by explaining how I came out to my friends/parents with my sexuality. Well, about a little over a year ago I thought that I was bisexual. I was kind of in denial about being homosexual because I didn't want to be. Anyways, I was with about three friends, during a sleepover with a total of like 10 friends, in the bathroom. We were talking about semi-serious topics and out of nowhere I just thought, "Oh my god, I have to tell them."

At this moment, I knew that I liked girls and I thought I still liked guys, but I had never actually used the word bisexual to describe myself. I was kinda just hoping that eventually I would grow to like the term.

TIP: IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOUR SEXUALITY/GENDER IS, DON'T JUST USE RANDOM WORDS ON THE SPOT BECAUSE YOU MOST LIKELY WILL REGRET IT LATER ON!

They were very accepting after I told them and almost started bawling. Over the summer, I was slowly coming out to more and more of my friends. Then, one day in August during a sleepover with the same people, I posted on my instagram/twitter about being bisexual. Earlier that day, I had also told my parents that I was bisexual and they were totally fine with it. I did it at a very ackward time and I didn't even say it out loud. I wrote it in my notes and showed them.

So by the time school started again a few weeks later, I was very open about my sexuality, even if I wasn't 100% sure it was really my sexuality. I also began to question my gender at this time, but I didn't know of any genders except girl, boy, and transgender. I knew I wasn't completely a boy, but I didn't feel like I was completely a girl either. Based on my poor knowledge, I was forced in my head to pick one of the two options, amd I picked girl because it was the easier option. I forced myself to believe I was a girl.

During this time, I also starting feeling more and more uncomfortable labeling as bisexual. I soon realized that sexual orientation and romantic orientation were different things, but I still thought I was just homosexual and homoromantic (I still only knew of two genders). So, on New Year's Eve, I contacted all my friends and told them I was gay. I also posted it on my social media at midnight as well as telling my parents.

After feeling pretty comfortable with my sexuality, I starting thinking of my gender again. By now, I watched many LGBTQ+ youtubers and one day, Ashley Mardell was in a collab with one of them. So, I clicked on her channel and looked through her videos to see if I was interested in them, and the first one I watched was "The ABC's of LGBT+". After that video, I binge watched Ashley for about three days, and I had learned so much about gender amd sexuality and about society and all that great stuff.

Ashley Mardell is probably the reason I discovered my gender amd my gender expression, and I could never thank her enough.

So after months and months, I had known about all these different genders, but I still hadn't clicked with one of them. Then, during lunch at school, my friend Gerard (not using real names), came out to me as genderfluid. I knew what that meant, and I was just so imensely proud of them that that night, I looked up every gender term there was and I finally found the one for me.

After really looking at the term and making absolutely sure it was for me, I told Gerard about my recent discovery about myself and I felt so free and just toally me after so long of not knowing what I was. The next day I told all my friends and asked them to use my correct pronouns and all that, and some of them remember. A lot of them don't. Mostly because I don't really think they understand what being non-binary or genderqueer is, so I'm working on that.

Eventually, about two months later, I finally gathered up the courage to write my parents a letter explaining my gender and they somewhat get it. I'm just lucky to have parents that are accepting, even if they don't really understand.

And that's about where I am right now, hopefully I will be able to get my friends to understand my gender one day.

SOME TIPS AND TRICKS ABOUT COMING OUT/DISCOVERING YOURSELF:

1. Don't rush to figure out yourself and falsely label yourself. It really is a bad feeling knowing you came out once and you might have to again because you were wrong about yourself.

2. Really look into all the different types of sexualities and genders before determining yours, because you might find something that better describes you.

3. If don't feel comfortable having a face to face conversation with anyone about your sexuality/gender, you don't have to. You could write them a letter or simply type it on your screen and show them. And don't feel ashamed if you can't do it by speaking verbally, you should be proud you even have the confidence to come out in the first place because for some people, that's really hard.

4. Don't feel pressured to come out if you are not ready. If you do, you may not seem as sure about yourself and people might question you (which they shouldn't be doing anyways, but people suck).

If you have any more advice for anyone struggling with finding or coming out as themselves, don't be afraid to leave a comment and let them know.

-Confident Netrual Aaron