My Life As LGBTQ+: Volume 1

Dancing as AFAB and Trans*

So you probably already know, I'm AFAB (assigned female at birth). I also do dance about four-five times a week and am on a competition team. And as someone who is AFAB and does not express in a very feminine way, it's pretty uncomfortable.

The dancing is not the part that makes me uncomfortable, its the costumes. I do many different styles of dance, which require me to wear many different costumes. I definitely do not express feminiely when it comes to dance costumes, since most of them are full of glitter, dresses/skirts, or pretty close to revealing.

In previous years I didn't not know that I was gender-neutral, but I definitely wasn't totally comfortable in glittery-dresses and such. Now that I am much more comfortable in my expression and identity, I get VERY upset and get very dsyphoric when I see the costumes we have to wear this year. We haven't even ordered or recieved them yet, but I can already picture what I'll look like in these costumes and I already hate it.

There is always a boy's option for these costumes, but I wouldn't be able to wear them. First off, I would stand out. If I were to wear a costume slightly different than anyone else, I would have to be placed differently for the dances, and I don't want to be the center of attention nor should I be front and center for every single dance. Not just because I don't want to be personally, but because of my height and how skillful I am at a particular dance.

So wearing the boy's option for costumes is out of the question, not to mention my aunt (studio owner/teacher) is most definitely very sterotypical and most likely nonbinaryphobic. I wouldn't say she's transphobic (bc she doesn't discriminate or not support transgender people), but she is very against going against gender roles and such (without even realizing it). She's very cis/heteronormative is what I'm trying to say.

She doesn't know that I'm not a girl, so me wearing the boy's option would make her think I'm doing it for attention or something. Also, she would probably say that if she let me wear the boy's option, she would have to let everyone else who might not like dresses wear it. She is my aunt, so if she let me do something like that, people would see it as special treatment bc we're family.

Does anyone else go through something similar, with any type of sport/art where you have to present in a way you don't want to? I'm just very stuck and don't know what to do in this situation >.<