Meant To Be

CHAPTER NINETEEN

ALISON

TW⚠️: MENTION OF SELF HARM/ SELF ABUSE SKIP IF NOT CONFORTABLE. IF YOU WANT TO SKIP READING IT, YOU CAN START READING FROM THE NEXT DAY.

After I got home I quickly went to my room I locked the door I looked at the drawer close to my bed I started crying. "Alison don't" I whispered to myself while shaking my head but my leg brought me there I was infront of the drawer crying I didn't know what to do, I bite myself on my arm so badly that I bleed but that didn't help I know I needed more.

I opened my drawer and saw it, I hid it there three months ago I promised myself to never use it but now I needed it.

I removed my trouser leaving only my underwear I got the lighter and sat on the floor I lit it as I saw the flames I cried, i promise myself I would stop but why can't I, I want to but I can't, I put the lighter on my lap burning my left thigh I used my other hand to muffle my scream's I did it for about six minutes which shock me because I never do it past three minutes the only time I did was during my first time after I finished with my left thigh I went to my right thigh I screamed as my body came in contact with the flame I really wanted to stop but I couldn't.

I heard the house door open that's when I quickly stopped, I hid the lighter, wore my trousers and unlocked the door.

My mom entered as I smiled at her suddenly her eyes went toy arm the one I had bitten, her eyes widened as she asked me "what happened to your arm" .

"I got bitten by a cat when coming back" I said trying to not look at her because I knew my eyes were blood red due to crying. "Alison look at me" she said in a serious voice and I knew I was done for. "Look at me" she said but I still didn't she came close to me holding my chin forcing me to look at her.

"What happened?" She asked ". "nothing" I replied while smiling "Alison" she said looking serious.

"I cried at little but what can I do that cat bite me very well" I said but before I could calculate anything she hugged me i started crying "it's hurting mom what should I do?" I said while trying to breath I know she knew that I wasn't talking about the but I was happy she didn't force me force me to talk.

"Remember who you are, your are my special baby girl, I know you won't do anything without a reason and I know your are strong you can overcome anything" she said while pulling me closer.

Only if she knew I wasn't strong I can't overcome anything I am breaking bit by bit and I don't know if I can hold on longer but I will be strong because of her, my mother my life after  all it's me and her against the world.

THE NEXT DAY 

I woke up and i saw I was in the school clinic, what was I doing here? I tried to get up but my head was aching me, "ow!" I said trying to get up "don't "i turned to see Eric he tried putting his hand on my shoulder but I moved I still didn't want to talk to him what he did yesterday really hurt me I mean I shouldn't care but I don't know why I do, I noticed he was looking at my hand so so I hid it behind me.

"You okay ellie?" He said as he got me water i took it but didn't say anything, "i'm-" before he could finish his sentence I heard someone talk I turned to see yun hee, Kiara and maya coming.

"You okay?" Maya said as she sat close to me "I'm fine" I turned and saw eric leaving.

Yun hee came and sat close to the chair, "you fine?" She asked "I am" i replied. But her eyes roamed to my left hand which I had bitten she looked at me I knew she wanted to know. " A cat bit me" I said while she looked at me "okay but why does the teeth of the cat look like that of a person?" she said. I looked the other way not wanting to talk about it and she understood.