HER : Unraveled // FayeYoko

Chapter Five

Disclaimer: This chapter contains scenes of physical abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

YOKO

The drive home was silent, the tension in the car palpable. Nagd-drive si Lux, her fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly. I could feel her eyes occasionally darting towards me, her jealousy simmering just beneath the surface.

"You okay?" I asked, breaking the silence, hoping to diffuse the tension.

Lux glanced at me, her expression hardening. "You seemed pretty distracted to my cousin back there," she replied, her tone edged with accusations.

I sighed, feeling the weight of the situation pressing down on me. "Ano nanaman ba iniisip mo, Lux?"

"Anong iniisip ko?" She scoffed, her grip tightening on the wheel. "She was looking at you like..." Hindi n'ya maituloy ang sasabihin n'ya, halata ang frustration sa mukha n'ya. "Like what?" I asked.

"Basta! Bakit gano'n s'ya makatingin sa'yo!?" Inside, Lux’s frustration finally broke through. "What was that all about with Faye!?" Dagdag pa nito.

I flinched at her tone. "I didn’t think it was a big deal. Hindi ko naman s'ya pinapansin kanina."

"Didn’t think it was a big deal!?" Sigaw pa n'ya, medyo namumula na s'ya sa galit. "She looks at you like there was something more there!"

My heart ached at her words. "Lux, I'm with you. That's all that matters. Wala naman akong pake sa kanya." Sinusubukan ko parin maging kalmado sa harap n'ya, nakakatakot s'ya kapag nagagalit. Dumating na rin kasi s'ya sa point na nasaktan n'ya ako dahil din sa selos.

"But do you want to be!?" Her voice trembled with hurt and anger. "Do you even care about me, Yoko? Or am I just some obligation you feel you have to fulfill?"

I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes. "I do care about you, Lux."

I care about her, I really do. It's just really hard for me to love her.

She pulled the car into the driveway and turned off the engine, her hands shaking. "I don't want to lose you," she whispered, her voice breaking.

I reached out to touch her hand, but she pulled away. "Lux, I'm sor—" Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko.

She opened the car door and got out, slamming it shut behind her. Pumunta s'ya sa pintuan ko at binuksan ito, before I could react, Lux’s hand grabbed my arm with a painful grip. Napadaing ako sa higpit ng pagkakahawak n'ya sa akin.

"Lux! Lux, bitawan mo ako!" Pagmamakaawa ko, mababalian na ata ako ng kamay sa ginagawa n'ya. Napaiyak nalang ako dahil hindi ko matanggal ang pagkakahawak n'ya sa akin.

Kinaladkad n'ya ako papasok sa loob ng bahay. As soon as the door closed behind us, pabato n'ya akong binitawan kaya nasubsob ako sa sahig. Naiiyak kong tiningnan si Lux, her eyes are blazing with anger.

"B–bakit ka ba sa'kin nagagalit?" Naiiyak kong tanong.

"Maybe you don’t realize how your actions affect others," she snapped, her voice trembling.

"My actions?" I asked. Napapikit ako nang madiin at huminga nang malalim bago tumingin ulit sa kanya.

No one really can control her when she's angry.

"L–lux, please, let's just.. calm down a–and talk." Nanginginig kong sabi.

"Talk? You want to talk?" She grabbed my arm, her grip tight and painful. "You should have thought kung ano ang mararamdaman ko kapag hinahayaan mo ang iba na tingnan ka nang gano'n!"

Her anger frightened me. "Lux, kanina mo pa ako sinasaktan," Nanghihina kong sabi, trying to pull away.

She released me, her eyes filled with regret and sorrow. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I just can't stand the thought of losing you."

I rubbed my arm where her grip had left a red mark. "We need to take a step back and figure this out."

Lux's shoulders slumped, and she looked away, her anger giving way to despair. "I love you, Yoko. Ayokong mawala ka sa'kin."

I felt tears streaming down my face. "I need some time alone," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Without waiting for her response, I turned and walked to my room, closing the door behind me. The weight of the day's events crashed down on me, and I collapsed onto my bed, crying uncontrollably. The pain of being with Lux, of seeing Faye again, of feeling trapped in an impossible situation, was overwhelming.

I heard Lux outside the door, her voice soft and pleading. "Yoko, please, I'm sorry. Hindi ko sinasadyang saktan ka. Please talk to me."

But I couldn't face her. Hindi ngayon. I needed time to process everything, to understand my own feelings. I curled up on my bed, clutching my pillow, and cried until I fell asleep.

As the night wore on, the house grew silent. I could hear Lux moving around outside my room, her footsteps soft and hesitant. She knocked on my door a few times, but I didn't respond. I felt guilty for shutting her out, pero palagi nalang ganito kapag nagagalit s'ya. Pero mas malala ang galit n'ya kapag nararamdaman n'yang hindi ko s'ya kayang mahalin.

Kung may magagawa lang ako para hindi na matuloy ang kasal namin, nagawa ko na. I just don't have enough strength, sobrang duwag ko.

Finally, the house fell silent. I assumed na tulog na si Lux, but I remained awake, staring at the ceiling, hindi na rin ako makatulog mula nung magising ako. I thought about Faye, about the night we spent together, about the unexpected connection we shared.

Torn between the past and the present, I felt like I was suffocating under the weight of my own emotions. I needed to make a decision, pero lahat ng option parang papunta lang din sa mas malaking gulo.

With a heavy heart, I got up and quietly opened my door. The house was still, and I could see Lux asleep on the couch, her face etched with worry even in sleep. I watched her for a moment, feeling a surge of pain and sadness.

The road ahead was going to be difficult, but I knew I had to confront the truth, no matter how painful it might be. For my sake, for Lux's, and for Faye's. I couldn't continue living in this state of confusion and guilt, but I'm just not ready yet. I'm really scared.

Hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari, especially kay Faye. Kapag nalaman nila, lalo na si Lux, ang nangyari sa amin ni Faye, paniguradong sobrang laki ng gulo nito.