lover boy

Chapter 35

Cecilia Anderson

For the past few months, I've been adjusting to my new life in Berlin. The city is vibrant and full of life, a stark contrast to the emotional turmoil I left behind in Madrid. The university here is fantastic, and I've thrown myself into my studies with a renewed focus. It's been a welcome distraction, something to keep my mind busy and my heart from aching too much.

My modeling career is also flourishing. Berlin is a hub of creativity and fashion, and I've found plenty of opportunities to work with talented designers and photographers. I moved into a model flat with my friends Aurelia and Lisa, both of whom have been incredibly supportive. They know about my past, about Jude, and they've been there for me every step of the way.

Aurelia is the practical one, always making sure I'm keeping up with my assignments and attending castings. Lisa, on the other hand, is more spontaneous, often dragging me out to explore the city and try new things. Together, they've helped me rebuild my confidence and find joy in the little things again.

Despite all the positive changes, I still think about Jude. I've come a long way in processing the breakup, and most days, I feel like I'm okay. But there are moments when the memories sneak up on me, and the pain resurfaces. I think about the good times we had, the dreams we shared, and the love that felt so right until it all went wrong.

Mornings start early, with a brisk walk to the university through the crisp summer air. The city is alive with the hum of students and professionals hurrying to their destinations, and I find solace in the collective energy of Berlin.

At the university, I immerse myself in my classes, each lecture a step closer to my medical degree. Today, I have a particularly engaging session on neurology, a subject that has always fascinated me. The professor is passionate, and her enthusiasm is contagious. I take meticulous notes, asking questions and participating in discussions. My classmates are friendly and driven, and we often study together in the library, exchanging ideas and supporting each other through the academic challenges.

After classes, I head to a nearby café for a quick lunch, my phone buzzing with messages from Claire and Emily. Despite the distance, we've maintained our close friendship through regular video calls and texts. Their support has been invaluable, reminding me of the strong bonds I left behind in Madrid. Claire updates me on her latest art project, while Emily shares stories from her new job. Our conversations are filled with laughter and a deep sense of connection that transcends the miles between us.

In the afternoon, I make my way to a nearby photo shoot at a stylish studio in Kreuzberg. The modeling industry in Berlin is fast-paced and exciting, and I've been fortunate to land some high-profile gigs. Today's shoot is for a well-known fashion magazine, and the atmosphere is buzzing with creative energy. The stylist hands me a stunning outfit, a blend of avant-garde and elegance, and I slip into the role effortlessly.

As the photographer starts snapping away, I feel a familiar rush of adrenaline. Modeling allows me to express a different side of myself, to step into a world of glamour and artistry. The camera captures each pose, each glance, and I lose myself in the moment, the lens a gateway to a realm where I can be anyone I want to be. The shoot goes smoothly, the team working seamlessly to create the perfect images. By the time we wrap up, I'm exhausted but satisfied, the sense of accomplishment a rewarding end to a busy day.

Back at the apartment, I'm greeted by Aurelia and Lisa, who are sprawled on the couch, debating dinner plans. "How was the shoot?" Lisa asks, looking up from her phone.

"It was great," I reply, dropping my bag and joining them. "I think we got some fantastic shots."

"Can't wait to see them," Aurelia says with a smile. "How was uni?"

"Busy, but good," I say. "We had a really interesting lecture on neurology today."

Our evenings often unfold like this, with casual conversations and shared meals. The apartment is a haven of support and camaraderie, a place where I can unwind and be myself. Over dinner, we talk about our day, our plans for the weekend, and the latest gossip from the fashion world.

As the night winds down, I find a quiet moment to call Claire and Emily. Hearing their voices is a balm to my soul, a reminder that I'm not alone in this journey. We talk about everything and nothing, our conversations weaving a tapestry of shared experiences and enduring friendship.

Before bed, I take a moment to reflect on my day. Berlin has become a place of healing and growth for me, a city where I've found strength and independence. But even amidst the hustle and bustle, Jude's shadow lingers. I wonder how he's coping, if he's found a way to move forward as I have.

The days are busy, filled with the promise of a future I'm building piece by piece. Yet, in the quiet moments, the memories of Jude resurface, a reminder of a past that still holds a piece of my heart. As I drift off to sleep, I find comfort in the thought that I'm forging a new path, one that leads to endless possibilities and a fresh start in this vibrant city.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The morning is crisp and clear, the sun filtering through the kitchen window as I sit at the breakfast table with Aurelia and Lisa. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and warm croissants fills the air, creating a cozy start to the day. We're chatting about our plans, and Aurelia casually brings up some news she's heard.

"Oh, by the way, Cecilia," Aurelia says as she scoops some yogurt into her bowl, "did you know that Jude Bellingham will be coming to Germany soon?"

The mention of Jude's name makes me pause. I had heard about him coming for the European Championship, but it hadn't fully registered until now. Aurelia's words make it feel suddenly real.

"Really?" I respond, trying to keep my voice steady. "I knew he was coming for the championship, but I hadn't realized it was so soon."

"Yes, it seems like it's happening very soon," Aurelia confirms. "He'll be spending some time in Berlin, so there's bound to be a lot of buzz."

I nod, trying to hide the unease that's beginning to bubble up inside me. "That's interesting," I say, taking a sip of my coffee to steady my nerves.

Lisa looks at me with a hint of curiosity, but Aurelia soon moves on to another topic. As the breakfast conversation continues, my mind drifts back to the idea of him being so close to me.

Even though I've largely moved on and built a fulfilling life here, the thought of running into him again stirs up old emotions. I've worked hard to put the past behind me and focus on my studies and career. I've accepted the end of our relationship and have embraced this new chapter in my life. Yet, hearing that he'll be so close again makes me realize that some feelings and memories still linger.

As I prepare for the day in the privacy of my room, I remind myself that I've made peace with the past and am determined to stay focused on my present and future. The arrival of Jude, though significant, is just another event in the tapestry of life. I will deal with it as it comes, but I am committed to continuing to move forward with my life.

The thought of Jude being in Berlin is accompanied by a memory of some recent articles I came across. They mentioned that, after our breakup, Jude had reportedly been involved with numerous women across England. It's a detail I tried to ignore, but it adds another layer to the complicated emotions I'm trying to manage. Despite this, I remain resolute in my decision to embrace the present and focus on my own path forward. I can do it.