The Force Helped Me Find Myself.

Chapter 12

Over the next couple of months, we would go home from school every couple of weeks for an extended period to help Eron's family adjust and heal. I was allowed to go as I had created a connection with all of them, and I was someone they trusted to talk to if they needed to. I didn't spend as much time as Emmi or Eron did with Eron's family, but I was there every day I could, and I think I helped.

The last time home, Eron's mum said something strange to me.

"You know Josy, I think Eron likes you."

"No way. He tried to coerce me into helping him. He said it was because I was fast and athletic, but I think it's because I am young, and he had some knowledge about me he didn't think I wanted to get out."

"Oh. Maybe that was true. I don't think that's the case now. He likes you."

"How do you know?"

"Little things. He gives you little looks when he can, wants to help you whenever he can, and wants to spend time with you whenever he can even just to sit next to you."

I looked at her, still surprised by what she said. "Um, I don't know. If he does, then it's something we will have to talk about. I'm not sure if I like anyone."

She smiled at me, "I'll let you think about it. I'll see you later." She walked off, somewhere.

I couldn't help but think she didn't know what she was talking about. What if she's right? Do I like him? Do I like boys? I didn't know, I hadn't thought about it before. I knew I didn't have any feelings like that about anyone growing up. I was unhappy and hiding part of myself, so I didn't want to think about others. Plus, I was still young, barely 14, and wasn't developing into adulthood yet, well physically. It was not anything I wanted to deal with.

A couple of weeks later, it was the second long break for the year. Eron's mum, Saimae, had started to heal and she was growing into an independent person. Before she was married and had children, she had worked in a government office helping with the running of the office. Our town council needed someone to work in the office, so she applied and started working there a few weeks earlier. She now had a regular income, and she could get herself a place near us. She didn't want her kids to have to change schools again. Kiry and Chantel have become friends, even though they're over a year apart in age, and Mum said we could help after school if she needed. As a result, we had to help move them and set up the house for them. Eron was excited to have a new home for him to come to when we had a break from school, he was excited about the move.

It took the first 5 days that we were home to get everything moved in and set up. The house was small, only slightly larger than Eron's old house, but it felt warmer and more like a home. We helped paint and decorate the house with the momentous that Saimae was able to save. The kids were great to have around while we worked, Zane was a major help with moving and mixing paints. Once it was done, we got the small amount of furniture the house came with back in position and then helped the kids set up their rooms. The first night they were going to stay at their new home as a family, we all had an outdoor meal around a hot plate. It was starting to move into winter, but it wasn't that cold. It was a nice night with friends under the stars just relaxing.

After dinner, Eron moved to sit next to me. I was slightly separated from the others; I had moved off slightly to look at the sky and imagine where I might end up travelling and the wonders of the universe I might get to see.

"Care to share what's on your mind."

"Huh, oh, sorry Eron. I was just thinking about what might be in my future. I have no idea what I want to do but I'd like to do some exploring."

"Yeah, I get that. For the longest time, I just wanted to get away from my house and my father. Now I don't know what I want to do. The thing I wanted the most is happening. I don't know what would be next."

I relaxed for a moment and stretched out with the force. Eron seemed different, the coldness was gone, not just hidden, he seemed to be content and relaxed, not hiding his fear or anger. I did notice that Emmi was discreetly watching us and my sister and his siblings playing nearby, with both of his siblings leaving a larger impression in the force.

"You have plenty of time to think about that. You have so many options now that you couldn't have seen before. Whatever you decide to do I'm sure you'll be great at it."

"Thanks. I'm sure you will be amazing too. Do you have any idea what you want to do?"

"No. I love the training, especially the physical aspects of it. I'm starting to learn how to use a lightsaber and I love the challenge and the artistry of it. I'm not sure what that means but I think I want to be able to keep training and be able to use my training to help others."

"So, a bit like the Jedi of old."

"Maybe. I'm not that keen on being a nomad and I'm sure mum will worry if I'm doing dangerous work. Maybe I'll be able to do some exploring or doing something like guest teaching or something. I still love my maths and science."

"I've heard that you and Emmi are way ahead of the others in science and maths."

I chuckled, "Yeah. We have heard a couple of groans from the others when we get moved on as a group. We end up helping them, so they don't mind too much."

"That's good. I wish I was closer to my classmates."

"You had a lot to deal with over the last few years. You had a massive wall up to protect yourself. I'm sure you'll be able to know them better now."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just behind the others with social aspects of life."

"Yeah, but I've heard you are the best in exercise situations and combat."

"I'm not sure about that. I'm good at protecting myself."

"I saw that on the screen." We both laughed. "I'm sure you will be able to get better at the social aspect of life too."

He smiled at me. "You know, you're the first friend I've had in years. Well, you and Emmi. I didn't have many friends at school. I was too distant from the others."

"You had a good reason. What about the neighbour behind you?"

"He wasn't really a friend. We didn't do much. He would often hear my father then ask me about it the next day. I don't think he was concerned just curious."

We sat quietly for a while, just looking at the sky. He slowly moved closer to me so that his shoulder was just touching mine. I leaned into him slightly and we just sat there, comfortable in each other's presence. After a few minutes, Emmi said something that brought us out of the moment.

"Sorry girl, what did you say."

"Um, it's getting late. I think we should let these kids get to bed." Emmi then indicated at the little kids who had started to yawn with Kriy curled up next to Dad, leaning on his shoulder. Eron and I nodded and got up, reluctantly, and went over to get the parents up and moving. It didn't take long for us to get going, but Eron and I had a bit of a weird moment. We didn't want me to go home but neither wanted to say nor do anything; we just looked at each other. We said good night eventually and then I went home.

Mum asked, "So, do you like him?"

"Mum! I don't know. Maybe."

"I think you do. Saimae thinks he likes you."

"She told you?"

"Yes, while you two were sitting next to each other, not talking but you both looked comfortable."

"Mum! I just don't know. It felt nice to sit like that with him."

"I could tell. We didn't want to make it end but we knew we needed to soon. Kiry had almost fallen asleep before you got up."

I just nodded and we finished the trip home. That night I dreamed Eron, and I were going to different planets to help people and explore the universe, together. I liked that dream.