Deceptive Affections

CHAPTER 36

ZAISHA

It's been more than 5 hours since Reyaan left. I have been waiting for him, calling him but he isn't picking up. Should I go back to the mall? But he definitely won't be there.

I am getting more worried with every second that passes. He was not doing well when he left. What if he is hurt? All kinds of ominous thoughts started entering my mind.

So I did what I thought was the only possible solution right now. I called my brother. He picked up after two rings. "Bhai..." I was unable to hide the worry in my voice.

"Aishi? Is everything all right?" he asked with urgency.

"No. I don't know where Reyaan is. He left and did not come back."

"Zaisha what are you saying? Tell me everything clearly." He demanded. And I told him what all happened today. From going to the mall and Reyaan's reaction at the end to how he wanted to be alone.

"Aishi don't go anywhere. I'll call you soon when I find something." He ended the call with that.

I waited for yet another hour for him to call. At this point I am getting anxious and tired of all this waiting. I don't want to sit around. I kept trying his cell but there was still no reply. I send him dozens of messages. All of them went unnoticed.

After some time, I finally got a call from my brother. "Did you find him?" I asked as soon as I picked up."

"Yes. I did." He replied cautiously.

"And? Where is he? Is he okay?" I need answers.

"He is in Delhi. He took a flight back and returned this evening. Right now, he is in his office." He took a pause to let all of that settle in. "Do you want me to go and talk to him?"

He is in Delhi? He went back? He promised he would return to the hotel. To me. I couldn't think straight and was lost in my spiraling thoughts when a voice brought me out of it. "Aishi?"

"No, I will talk to him myself. Thanks." My voice was dangerously low.

"Are you okay?"

"I am fine." I didn't elaborate further because I was not fine. I ended the call before he could interrogate further.

We were supposed to leave day after tomorrow. Tomorrow, I have a brief meeting at the office which I can very easily skip and have it online. I can go back to Delhi tomorrow taking first flight. But I am not going to do that.

It couldn't be clearer that Reyaan does not want to be around me right now. So I will give him his space. I will return as scheduled. He can have his time, his space, his privacy. He wants to be alone, so I'll let him.

Him leaving like this felt like a heavy weight on my chest. I knew he was closed off. I knew he was distant whenever I asked him to tell me whatever has been bothering him but I never imagined that he would leave without a word.

The next day I did everything I could to distract myself from the events of yesterday. I took a walk. I immersed myself in my work. I just didn't want to think about him. I didn't want to think about what happened. I didn't want to think that he left.

The flight back was uneventful, giving me too much time to think. I stared out the window, watching the clouds drift by, each one a reminder of the uncertainty hanging over our relationship. When I finally landed in Delhi, I felt a strange mix of anticipation and dread.

I need to talk to him.

REYAAN

There are papers laid out all over my desk, confirming my suspicions. That cashier was... is, in fact, my mother. It was true all along. She did leave me when I was just a child. She went on to live her life. Leaving me with that monster.

There was a knock on my door and I gathered the papers in the file before letting anyone in.

"There's someone here to see you." Kartik moved aside to let Zaisha in. the past two days; I tried my best to avoid this conversation. Even if it took everything inside me, I tried to avoid her. I don't think this conversation will go anywhere near where I want it to be.

Kartik closed the door behind him and Zaisha came forward to stand at the opposite end of the desk.

She just stood there, thinking what to say. Her expressions hurting as she didn't even try to look me in the eyes.

Unable to bear the silence, I said, "Zaisha, I'm sorry," my voice strained. "I know leaving like that was wrong. I just... I didn't know how to handle everything."

Zaisha nodded, trying to keep her emotions in check. "Reyaan, I need to understand. What's been going on with you?"

I took a deep breath and looked away. "I myself don't know. I wish I could tell you but I can't."

"Yes, you can. You can tell me whatever you want. Whatever you are feeling. I am trying to be understanding, to be rational. But I can't keep doing this if you act this way and shut me out." There was a slight tremble in her voice.

I moved towards her and took her hands in mine. "I don't want to burden you. I can handle it on my own."

She freed her hands from mine. "Handle it how? By running away?" She slightly licked her lips, "You don't have to handle this on you own."

I didn't have anything to say so I just stood there. After a beat of silence, she finally said, "She..." she started hesitantly, "She is your mother. Isn't she?" For a brief second my expressions gave in and that was enough for her to know the truth. She didn't need to specify who she was talking about. We both knew.

"She is your mother." She repeated. Mostly to herself. "She is alive. But you told me that she is..."

"Zaisha" I moved towards her, trying to hold her. But she moved back, out of my hold.

"You lied to me. You have been lying to me. You never told me the truth. You have never let me in. You don't trust me". she said in disbelief.

"I do trust you Zaisha"

"No, you don't." She said firmly. "If you really do trust me then why won't you just let me all the way in? Why didn't you call me when you clearly needed someone? Why didn't you tell me what you were going through? Why didn't you tell me about your mother? Why don't you ever tell me about anything?" her voice getting louder.

"I just want to know you. The real you. Not some made up version of you that you show to the world. I needed you to tell me how you feel and what is going on with you."

All I could say was, "I love you Zaisha" It was merely a whisper but that was all I had to say. The last time I said those words she was sleeping. It contained feelings, it contained words I couldn't express otherwise.

"Words don't matter Reyaan, actions do! And yours clearly state that you don't need me. Lying to me multiple times is not okay. Feeding me fake stories is not okay. Leaving me alone, clueless when I am worried sick about you is not okay." Her voice started breaking and it tore me apart.

"None of it is okay or even acceptable." She inhaled a deep breath, "I don't think I can do this anymore." She started to make her way out of the door.

My face fell, confusion and hurt mixing in my eyes. I blocked her way and stood in front of her. "What do you mean?"

She took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice. "Reyaan, this isn't the first time you've shut me out. Every time things get tough, you run. I can't keep wondering if you're going to disappear every time something happens, and you don't want to tell me about it." Her eyes glistened with tears.

"So, I don't want to do this anymore. We are done." She left the office and I just stood there. Unable to do anything. Unable to say anything. I felt a sudden ache in my chest.

I wanted to chase after her and demand her to stay. But I can't. it's better to stay away than to hurt her even more. .

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