Deceptive Affections

CHAPTER 38

REYAAN

It has been days since Zaisha broke up with me, and each one felt like an eternity. The silence of my house is a constant reminder of her absence. Everything reminds me of her. Her memories are present in every corner. Even Roman reminds me of her.

I threw myself into work, trying to drown out the emptiness with endless meetings and late nights at the office. But no matter how hard I tried, thoughts of her were always there, lurking in the corners of my mind.

Last night I even called her from another number just hear her voice. Even if it was just for a moment. The phone rang for several beats and I thought she wouldn't pick up. But she did and I heard her soft voice.

"Hello?" she said, the uncertainty in her tone twisting the knife of guilt in my chest.

I didn't respond. I couldn't. I just listened to the sound of her breathing, letting the comfort of her presence wash over me, even if it was just through a phone line. For a moment, it felt like everything was back to normal.

"Hello?" she repeated, a bit louder this time. "Is anyone there?"

I wanted to speak, to tell her everything that was in my heart, but the words stuck in my throat. Instead, I stayed silent, hoping she wouldn't hang up.

"Who is this?" she asked, her voice tinged with a mix of annoyance and curiosity.

My heart ached with the knowledge that I was causing her more confusion, more pain. I couldn't bear to hang up, but I knew I couldn't keep her on the line forever. Eventually she hung up. and all the pain from that day came rushing back hitting me with an intense force.

I picked up my phone and stared at the screen, tempted to call her again, to text her, to do anything to bridge the gap I had created. But what would I say? That I was sorry? That I loved her but was too afraid to let her see my vulnerabilities? It all seemed too little, too late.

A knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts. I opened it to find Aditya standing there, his expression unreadable. The tension between us was palpable, a stark reminder of the precarious balance we had been maintaining.

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice sounding more hostile than I intended.

He stepped inside without waiting for an invitation, his eyes scanning the room before settling on me. "What happened between you and Zaisha?" I expected him to pay me a visit soon but it took him long enough.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "We broke up."

His eyes narrowed, and I could see the anger simmering beneath the surface. "Why? What did you do?"

I bristled at his accusation. "Why do you assume it was my fault?"

"Because she was crying, Reyaan! And she doesn't cry easily. You must have done something." His tone was accusing and simmering with anger.

The words made my heart twist. Even the thought that I made her cry made me want to punch something, to do anything to escape the guilt gnawing at my insides.

"I didn't mean to," I said, my voice cracking. "I never wanted to hurt her."

"The point is not about if you wanted to or not, the point is that you did hurt her. And that is not why I am here. I am here to know what are you going to do about it?"

I looked at him with confusion lining my face. It took a minute for his words to settle in. He took in my expressions and clarified what he meant.

"A part of me just wants to kill you for making even a single tear drop from her eyes. But," His hard features softening just a bit. She is hurting and I don't want to see her like that. And your expressions tell me that you didn't want this break-up. So, what are you going to fix what you have done?"

The weight of his words settled heavily on my shoulders. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "I have messed up everything. What should I do?"

"That's for you to figure out. But I will help you a little. She has gone to Mumbai now. And is not coming back until next year."

"Her show is in three weeks. Why is she there already?"

He raised his brows and gave me an expression to let me know 'because of you, dumbass'.

"I am an idiot." I muttered under my breath, almost inaudible.

"That you are. No disagreement there." He left my office after saying that.

I spent the next few hours in a daze, trying to make sense of my feelings. The memories of Zaisha's laughter, her touch, her unwavering support, all flooded my mind. I realized then that I had been a fool, letting my fears dictate my actions. I have been a fool for letting her go.

Determined to make things right, I knew I had to act. I couldn't wait for her to come back next year; I needed to show her that I was serious about changing now. I had a plan and I am going to sick to it.

The only problem with the plan was that it needed time. A lot of it. Which meant that I couldn't see her until then and that was the most difficult part. I have to get past my demons and I have to deal with my past.

Every fiber of my being longed to see her, to hear her voice, to feel her presence. But I knew that showing up without having made real, tangible changes would only hurt her more. It would be selfish of me to seek her comfort when I hadn't yet faced my own issues. The thought of her crying because of me was unbearable, and I resolved to use that pain as motivation.

I know that this journey will be long and difficult, but I am committed. I had to be. Because losing Zaisha had made me realize something profound: she was the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I am not going to let my fears ruin that again. I am determined to become the man she deserved, no matter how long it takes.

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To all the people who are liking the chapters, Thanks a lot!!! It makes me so happy whenever I see a like or a comment.