Deceptive Affections

CHAPTER 32

ZAISHA

I woke up at around 3 in the morning. I turned around to find Reyaan who was sleeping peacefully. I searched for my phone but it wasn't here. Shit! I must have left it in the car.

I quietly removed Reyaan's hand from my waist and got up to get my phone. The keys were lying on the coffee table. I picked them up and went out to the car. My phone was lying on the floor in front of the seat. I checked if there were any messages. Thankfully there were none.

When I entered the house again, I heard screams coming from the bedroom. They were so loud that even Roman woke up and was running towards the bedroom. I rushed inside.

Reyaan was lying on the bed but he was having a nightmare. He was calling for help. "Please... don't...stop..." I hurriedly went towards him and tried to wake him up. Roman was jumping around the bed.

"Reyaan! Reyaan! Get up!" I called him a couple of times. I shook him but he didn't budge.

"Mom... No... Please don't go", He again said something. I tried to wake him up again. And he did. He woke up with a jolt. He was breathing heavily.

"Reyaan?" I called him hesitantly. "Are you okay?" he looked at me with bloodshot eyes. He didn't say anything, just removed the covers and got up. I got up from the side of the bed as well.

I asked again if he was okay. This time he released a sigh and nodded. "What was that about?" I inquired.

"Nothing. Don't worry. Go back to sleep." He replied and went inside the bathroom. What? Go back to sleep?

"Reyaa..." I tried calling him but he locked the door behind him. I sat on the bed. What are these nightmares about? I remember him saying the same things before. I didn't question him earlier because everyone has bad dreams once in a while. But looking at his reaction and consistency of the dreams, it's a regular thing.

Is it something which happens with people who suffer from insomnia? I have considered this before because I have rarely seen him sleep. I fall asleep before him and wake up after him.

After around 15 minutes he finally comes out of the bathroom. I instantly got up from the bed. He looks at me in a way that I don't like at all. It's like he wants to get away from me. Like he is exasperated. "Zaisha, I don't want to talk about it." He said firmly.

"But I do!" I stated. "How long have you been having these nightmares?" I asked.

He rubs a hand over his face and glides them through his hair, which are now tousled. "Zaisha, please." He pleaded. But no! I have had enough. I want to know him.

I moved closer to him and held his hands. I don't know why but I thought he would jerk them away. Fortunately, he didn't. "Reyaan what was it about? What happened to your mom?" I asked cautiously.

"She is dead, Zaisha. There is no point discussing it."

"But I want to know. I barely know anything about you Reyaan." He didn't say anything. There was complete silence for a minute or so. "You don't want to tell me?" I meant it as a question but I knew it was a statement. And he didn't say anything to deny it.

I know it is difficult to open up and share things about himself. But I thought that maybe after all this time, I would get at least a piece of him. "I am going home." I started collecting my stuff but he stopped me.

"Zaisha, stop! You are not going anywhere. It's late." He commanded.

"Yes, I am" I pulled my hand away from him, gathered everything and went inside the bathroom to change. I shut the door behind me and somehow a tear escaped my eyes. I wiped it off and changed into my clothes.

When I got out, Reyaan was sitting on the edge of the bed. I moved past him. But I stopped in my tracks when I heard him say, "I lost her when I was twelve."

I turned around. He was looking down at the floor. I sat beside him on the bed. "What happened to her?"

"I don't know. I was too young." He said in a flat tone. But I am glad he is finally saying something. Finally opening up.

"How long have you been having these nightmares?", I questioned.

"For as long as I can remember. They stopped for a while when I met you. But I guess they are back."

"Have you ever thought about seeking help?" Maybe I am pushing it. But I feel like this is my chance and I need to know whatever I can. He shook his head.

"Can I ask you something else?" he gestured for me to continue. "What are they about? I mean... what do you see?" I am hoping I get the answer.

"I mostly don't remember anything but" he took a breath and finally said, "I see her leaving me or abandoning me."

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I know it was really difficult for him to share all of this. To open up. He hugged me back. "I am so sorry that you lost her. I am proud of you Reyaan. And really glad that you opened up."

He buried his face in between my neck and shoulders. "Zaisha? Please don't leave me." the words were a whisper, almost inaudible.

"I won't. I promise." And I intend to keep that promise. This is the most vulnerable I have seen him in all the time that I have known him. He has finally shown me his trust and I don't want to break it.

We went back to bed to try and sleep. But it was difficult. I did eventually fall asleep after an hour, I think. But Reyaan didn't. I was half asleep when I heard his voice. I didn't move, though.

"Zaisha" he took a pause and said, "I love you", he kissed the top of my head and removed some strands of hair on my face. A smile unconsciously appeared on my face and I snuggled close to him.

Tonight, has been full of emotional rollercoasters for me. So many events happened in a single night. There is no way I will forget tonight.

I woke up the next day and as usual Reyaan was already gone. I took a shower and went out to eat the delicious food already set up on the breakfast table.

Reyaan emerged from the kitchen with a plate of toasts in his hand. I gave him a small smile and he returned it with a kiss on my cheek. "Morning."

"Good morning!" he replied. "Hungry?"

I nodded. Last night made me super hungry. I have no idea how I managed to take a shower because I don't have any energy. My stomach is growling with hunger.

He set up my plate when I went to give a morning kiss to Roman. And just like that everything was back to normal.

"When do we leave for Mumbai?" he asked.

"Sunday. I have to be there by Monday. I'll do the bookings today." It's already Wednesday and now I need to hurry with my work and packing.

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