The Unforgiving Moon

53.

I was looking for berries to eat. Though I still killed every prey we'd eat, I couldn't get the raw meat down my throat. 

Unfortunately, Scent Moon lands had different plants and sceneries than what I was used to from Spitta. In the town I grew up in, I knew very well which plants I could eat, and which I needed to stay away from.

In Scent Moon, some of them were very clearly not an option. They prickled my nose and made my stomach churn if I sniffed them from up close.

Other berries had more ease to fool me. I had almost eaten a handful of sweet-looking, red berries that—more importantly—smelled heavenly delicious, before Cailean had warned me they'd make me feel ill for a week. At least.

Aven had glared, and probably complained to himself about the sunburned idiot he had chosen in his pack, and how our Moons could have chosen me to bless.

The softness with which he had spoken to me last night, had seemed to vanish as soon as the sun rose from behind the horizon.

My stomach grumbled in protest as we continued walking; the few eatable berries I had found, had not been enough to settle my hunger. 

And when we neared a village—and I could smell all the good food that was being prepared there—I was more than displeased when both males agreed we needed to walk around the village, and we were headed straight to Oxyn. 

"I think we can afford ourselves a short delay for a proper meal," I grumbled, to no one in particular. "Especially if Lisa isn't expecting us anyway."

Aven shot another glare at me, while Cailean seemed as unbothered as ever. Tarunya's heir had always seem so refined, yet here he was, eating raw meat like a beast. 

"We have perfectly good food," Aven growled in return. "This is not meant to be some luxury retreat."

"Clearly," I said under my breath.

Aven stopped and turned around, Cailean sighed lightly. "Do you know why we're going straight to Oxyn, Sari? Because it is not safe here, for any of us. Do you want to explain to Lisa why we visited one of her villages, and killed a few men? Just so we could have a proper meal?"

I straightened my back. "We don't have to kill anyone—" I started, but Aven cut me off immediately.

"This close to Oxyn, it is crawling with Beckett's spies everywhere. Do you want to risk it? Do you want to risk the possibility of word reaching him before we can even get to Oxyn?"

I... I hadn't thought of that. "I'm sorry," I said.

"I don't want your apologies," Aven retorted, "I need you to—"

"Maybe we should discuss how we plan to deal with Lisa once we arrive," Cailean cut in, his tone urging and firm.

I didn't know what Aven had planned to say, but I was thankful Cailean had stopped him.

I turned to Cailean as I asked, "What will my role be in all of this?" 

The gentle smile returned to his face, and his eyes turned fierce. "I would like you to be present in everything."

"Why?" I asked.

Aven seemed to agree. "Lisa will not like that," he said, hesitance underlining his tone. 

Cailean shrugged his shoulders, and his smile turned into a wicked grin. "What Lisa wants is of no consequence to us. She will not like your presence either, Aven. Sari has yet a big part to play, I think it is time we treat her as such.

"Besides," he continued in a drawl, "As a woman herself, Lisa shouldn't be as traditional as Dell."

I cocked my head and crunched my brows. Had Dell refused my attendance simply because I was a woman? He hadn't seemed like the type. When I'd been in Apicya with Jerr, he had always been kind and welcoming.