A Love so far (Taehyung ff)

27) Pain

Tae's PoV

Taehyung's car disappeared into the night, leaving Yn standing alone under the hotel's harsh lights. He couldn't shake off the image of her tears, the way her eyes had pleaded with him to stay. His heart felt like lead, weighing him down.
As he entered his apartment, Taehyung was met with an oppressive silence. He trudged through the darkness, not bothering to turn on the lights. He collapsed onto the bedroom floor, his back against the bed, and let the shadows consume him.
"Why am I doing this?" he whispered to himself, his voice cracking. "Why am I hurting her like this?"
Taehyung's body began to shake, his sobs building in intensity. He buried his face in his hands, his fingers digging into his scalp.
"You're a monster, Taehyung," he spat at himself. "You're destroying the one person who truly cares for you."
He thought of Yn's smile, her laughter, and her tears. The memories tore at his heart, leaving him gasping for air.
"Why can't I just let her go?" he cried out, his voice echoing off the walls. "Why can't I just be with her, truly be with her?"
Taehyung's mind raced with the consequences of his actions. He thought of his family, his duty, and his obligations. But none of it mattered anymore.
"I'm so tired," he whispered, his body wracked with sobs. "I'm so tired of pretending, of hiding, of hurting."
As the darkness closed in around him, Taehyung felt his defenses crumbling. He was exposed, vulnerable, and raw.
"Yn, forgive me," he whispered, his voice barely audible. "Forgive me for hurting you, for breaking your heart."
Taehyung's tears flowed like a river, his heart shattered into a million pieces. He knew he had to find a way out of this mess, but for now, he just sat, lost in his own private hell.
"I love you, doll," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I love you, and I'm so sorry."
Taehyung's mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions as he thought about his upcoming trip to India. He had promised to marry Yn in a month's time, but his heart was still heavy with regret and longing.
"I'll marry her," he thought, his voice firm, but his heart aching. "But I'll make her life hell."
He knew it was a cruel thing to think, but he couldn't shake off the feeling of hurt and betrayal. He felt like Yn had deceived him, like she had played him for a fool.
"I'll show her," he thought, his jaw clenched. "I'll make her regret ever crossing me."
But deep down, Taehyung knew he was lying to himself. He didn't want to hurt Yn, he wanted to love her, to cherish her, to make her happy.
"Why am I doing this?" he wondered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why am I punishing her for when I also hide my past mistakes?"
He thought of the pain he had caused Yn, the tears he had seen in her eyes, the desperation in her voice.
But still, he couldn't shake off the feeling of anger and hurt. He knew he needed to find a way to let go, to forgive Yn and himself.
"I'll marry her," he thought, his voice firm. "But I'll also find a way to make things right. I'll find a way to love her again, to trust her again."
Taehyung took a deep breath, his mind made up. He would marry Yn, but he would also work to rebuild their relationship, to find a way to love and trust again.

The darkness seemed to swallow his words, leaving Taehyung alone with his thoughts. He sat there, surrounded by the shadows, his heart heavy with grief.

Taehyung's mind was racing with thoughts, his heart heavy with doubt. He couldn't shake off the feeling that Yn was hiding something from him, that she was using him for his wealth and status.
"But why would she need my money?" he asked himself, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Her family is already wealthy, and she's a bureaucrat herself. She doesn't need my financial support."
Just as he was about to push the thoughts aside, he remembered the words of Yn's mother-in-law, Mrs. Kim. She had hinted that Yn was using Nish, her late husband, for his wealth and status. And now, Taehyung wondered if Yn was doing the same with him.
"Could it be true?" he thought, his heart sinking. "Is she really using me for my money?"
He remembered the way Nish's mother had spoken about Yn, with a hint of disdain and disapproval. He remembered the way she had mentioned Yn's relationship with that businessman, how she had used him for pleasure.
"Is that what Yn is doing with me?" Taehyung wondered, his mind reeling with thoughts. "Is she using me for her own pleasure, for her own gain?"
He felt a wave of anger wash over him, followed by a deep sadness. He didn't want to believe that Yn was capable of such things, but the doubts lingered.
"Why would she do that?" he asked himself, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why would she use me like that?"
Taehyung's thoughts were a jumble of emotions, his heart heavy with uncertainty. He didn't know what to believe, or who to trust. All he knew was that he needed to find out the truth, to uncover Yn's true intentions once and for all.

Taehyung's mind was a maze of thoughts, his heart racing with memories. He couldn't shake off the feeling that Yoona's kiss was more than just a moment of passion. It was as if she had planned it, intentionally pulling him in and kissing him.
"Why did she do that?" he wondered, his brow furrowed in confusion. "Was she trying to make Yn jealous? Or was she trying to sabotage our relationship?"
He thought about the intimate photoshopped pictures of him and Yoona, and how they had been sent to Yn. He remembered the look of shock and hurt on Yn's face, the way she had trembled with anger.
"Yoona must have sent those pictures," Taehyung thought, his heart heavy with suspicion. "She's trying to drive a wedge between us, to make Yn doubt my love for her."
He thought about the timing of the pictures, how they had appeared just as he and Yn were growing closer. He thought about the way Yoona had looked at him, the way she had touched him.
"It's all too convenient," Taehyung thought, his mind racing with possibilities. "Yoona kisses me, and then these pictures show up. She's trying to destroy my relationship with Yn."
Taehyung's mind was a jumble of emotions, his heart torn between his love for Yn and his suspicion of Yoona's motives. He didn't know what to believe, or who to trust. All he knew was that he needed to find out the truth, to uncover the secrets that were threatening to tear him and Yn apart.
"I need to talk to Yn," Taehyung thought, his heart heavy with determination. "I need to tell her what happened with Yoona, and I need to find out if she knows anything about those pictures."
He thought about the conversation they would have, the questions he would ask. He thought about the possibility that Yn might not believe him, that she might think he was involved in the pictures.
"What if she doesn't believe me?" Taehyung wondered, his heart racing with anxiety. "What if she thinks I'm lying?"
He pushed the thoughts aside, focusing on the task at hand. He needed to talk to Yn, to clear the air and find out the truth.
"I'll do whatever it takes," Taehyung thought, his heart heavy with determination. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right with Yn, to prove my love for her."

Taehyung's mind was a jumble of emotions, his heart heavy with doubt. He thought about Yn and the businessman, and then his own relationship with Yoona. He wondered why he was so quick to clarify his relationship with Yoona, but not questioning Yn's past.
"Why am I so focused on clearing my name with Yoona?" he thought, his brow furrowed in confusion. "But I'm not asking Yn about her relationship with the businessman. Is it because I'm afraid of what I might find out?"
He realized his double standard, and his heart sank with uncertainty.

Taehyung felt mentally exhausted, his mind overwhelmed by the tangled web of relationships and secrets. He was tired of remembering the lies, the kisses, and the hidden truths. He yearned for simplicity and honesty, but it seemed like an unattainable dream. His thoughts were a never-ending cycle of confusion and doubt.

Taehyung steeled himself, determination in his eyes. "First, I'll confront Yoona about her lies and those photos. I'll make her confess the truth. Then, I'll marry Yn and we'll start fresh.

Taehyung's eyes narrowed, his jaw set in determination. "And then, I'll get to the bottom of Yn's true intentions. I'll find out if she's been playing me all along, or if she really loves me. I need to know the truth, no matter how much it hurts."

Taehyung's eyes gleamed with a hint of slyness. "I've kept the two-year contract a secret from Yn, and it's for the best. She thinks it's a real marriage, and that's exactly what I want. I need to know her true intentions, and this is the perfect way to do it. If she proves herself to be genuine, I'll reward her with a love that will last a lifetime. But if she's deceiving me, she'll be in for a surprise. And by the time she finds out about the contract, it will be too late. The game is on, and I'm ready to play."

Taehyung lay on the floor, his mind racing with thoughts of his complicated life. He stared blankly at the ceiling, his eyes wide with exhaustion. The weight of his secrets and lies felt crushing, and he couldn't shake the feeling that everything was spiraling out of control. He thought about Yn, Yoona, and the contract marriage, his head spinning with doubts and fears. As the night wore on, he finally drifted off to sleep, his body weary from the emotional turmoil. The floor was hard, but his heart felt even harder, burdened by the secrets he kept.