AITA? Reaction

12. Ruining her own gender reveal.

AITA for for ruining my own gender reveal party?

I'm confused.

I'm pregnant with a baby boy due in November. My fiancé and I didn't care much about the sex of our child, so we didn't make too much noise about it once we found out. The only people we'd informed were our parents, their partners and our siblings.

Prior to this, my father's girlfriend of 3 years had been asking me about my plans for a gender reveal party. I've always been clear about not wanting one. When I announced my son's gender to them, she expressed disappointment that I hadn't changed my mind about a party.

Too bad. It's not your son lady.

I don't like gender reveals. Never have, never will.

I agree.

I prefer baby showers, which I think feel more about the actual child. I never tried to hide that opinion, either.

Days later, my father's girlfriend invited me over for tea at their apartment (my dad was out of town). When I got there, about a dozen people popped out of hiding to surprise me. There were pink and blue decorations everywhere, which made what was going on pretty clear.

This bi-

As I stood there in shock, my father's girlfriend excitedly told me they were throwing me a surprise gender reveal party.

Why? Why would you do this when she clearly was against it?

Some people are really something...

Since I'd already told her, she had taken it upon herself to order a cake with colorful frosting, decorate the apartment and invite a bunch of people over.

The guests included her mother (whom I don't get along with), some of her friends,

A little reminder... The party is for your baby or for her?

Asking for a friend.

my MIL (not my mom) and four of my friends. As I later found out, my MIL and friends had been told I'd changed my mind about gender reveals.

Oh, so she's also a liar.

I had not. Still in the doorway, I looked over at everyone and said, "It's a boy. You guys can go home now." I left without looking back.

Yes queen.

Hours later, my father called me furious that I'd ruined the party.

I understand why they are together.

He said his girlfriend had put a lot of effort, money and love into planning it,

No one asked.

and I should have shown respect and gratitude for it. Apparently, she hadn't stopped crying since I left.

Boo ooh.

It's been almost a week, and they're both still upset. Even after I explained I never wanted that party in the first place, they're insisting I could have sucked it up for an hour, or at least cut the cake.

Why?

AITA?

NTA.

You were crystal clear about it.

Besides, she didn't really did it for you. She invited HER friends, it was for her.

UPDATE - AITA for ruining my own gender reveal party?

Thank you for all your replies. Especially those who called me the AH for having a gender reveal. I'm assuming you didn't read my post, but you still cracked me up.

Lol.

All jokes aside, I've been expected to be a pushover for most of my life (older daughter of divorced parents), so it was good to know I was right to stand my ground on this issue.

Yes, you are!

After reading your comments, I've concluded that the only thing I did wrong was leaving without talking to my friends and MIL. They were lied to and put in an awkward position after I left. I did talk to them the next day and apologized, but I wish I'd told them what was going on.

Well, it's understandable that in the heat of the moment you didn't think of explain the situation better.

The important thing is that you all are good now.

A few days ago, my fiancé and I invited my father and his girlfriend over. I told them I was extremely upset with them both, but I wanted to sort this out peacefully.

We still ended up fighting. My father agreed with some points I made, but kept insisting that I was ungrateful and owed his girlfriend an apology.

No, you don't.

She was quiet at first, but started crying about 20 minutes into the fight.

Oh god.

Stop this crocodile tears girl 🙄.

My father's girlfriend said she threw the party because she cared about me,

Then why you invited YOUR friends and YOUR mom?

and that she'd want one if she was pregnant. She started talking about all the gender reveal videos she'd watched on TikTok, and how happy the parents look in them. She told me she genuinely thought I'd love it,

Lie.

and couldn't understand why I'd been so rude to her.

To my surprise, my fiancé was the first to snap at that (he's usually the calm one). He told her to stop calling it my party, since she clearly threw it for herself.

Go, fiancé! GO!

I had expressed countless times that I didn't want a gender reveal, and I was well within my rights to leave when she tried to ambush me with one.

Yes, sir!

The fight didn't go on for much longer after that. Near its end, my father asked me why I hadn't at least played along for a while.

Oh God... I think I understand why the mom divorced him.

I told him I went there expecting to spend an hour with someone I've been meaning to get to know better, not to spend my entire afternoon entertaining a dozen people (more than half of whom I either didn't know or didn't like) who got together to talk about my child's privates.

AHAHAHAHAHAH.

I didn't mean to upset anyone, but I had to get out. My father didn't argue with that.

There were two main pieces of advice from your comments that I decided to follow. The first was to tell my father's girlfriend she needed to apologize to my friends and MIL for lying to them. She agreed (and they later confirmed she did).

I'm actually surprised she did.

Secondly, neither of them will be allowed to meet my son at the hospital when he's born. My father had been looking forward to this, so it wasn't an easy decision, but I made it clear it was final.

Fair.

My father called me the next day to apologize for everything, and I forgave him. I don't expect an apology from his girlfriend,

It was already too much for her to apologise to your friends/MIL.

but I'm done feeding that fire. My life is stressful enough as it is.

My son will be here in November. He already has a name, and we've just started working on his nursery. I truly can't wait to meet him.

Also sorry for including "for" twice in my first post's title.

I didn't even notice lol.

Taken from:

r/AmItheAsshole
u/ThrowawayGenReveal