AITA? Reaction

17. Telling husband he's too broke to be sexist.

AITA for telling my husband he's too broke to be so sexist?

Ahahahahah. No!

Throwaway.

So my husband comes from a 'traditional' family. Mum's a SAHM, father was sole provider. I come from the opposite - my mother pretty much forbade from ever being financially dependent on a man and drilled that into me early on.

She's right. It's better to not depend financially on anyone, you never know what would happen. It's always better to have your own money.

My husband worked hard to unlearn the values he saw replicated at home.

But based on the title I guess he didn't unlearn them properly.

He (often more than) pulled his weight at home, was an engaged and present father and a genuine partner. The one thing that grinds my gears is how much weight he puts on the opinions of his family. I get that we all want our parents to be proud of us, but this is too much.

My ILs are staying with us for 2 weeks.

Oh oh.

Our usual MO is, I prep breakfast, we all eat lunch at work/school, and my husband makes dinner.

Fair division.

We have a cleaner, but she's on holiday so in the meantime we're DIYing the cleaning where it's down to everyone to keep their space clean and common spaces we all clean. This is how we've always done it, and it works.

My ILs hate that I'm 'one of those modern women'.

Oh fuck off.

They hate that I work, they hate that I don't find my purpose in being a wife and mother and they hate that my husband pulls his weight at home.

Oh no, anyway...

We spoke pretty frankly early on, where I established my boundaries and told them I won't be chastised about how I live my life in my home. When I am a guest in their home, I accommodate their ways and play the DIL they wish I was. They have for the most part respected this.

I got home yesterday after work tired and starving. I typically get home 1815/30 and we eat at 1900. I said quick hellos and ran up for a pre-dinner shower. When I came down, I went to the kitchen to help set up for dinner and found nothing ready. I asked my husband about it but he wouldn't look at me and his mother answered that he hadn't cooked anything.

😑😑😑😑

She told me I needed to do my duty as a wife and cook for my family.

Oh fuck off.

My coward of a husband still wasn't looking at me.

I would divorce honestly.

If he can't stand up to his mom disrespecting me in MY OWN HOUSE he can leave.

I just walked away and ordered takeaway. I dished up for me and my kids and we sat at the table to eat. My husband and his parents served themselves and joined us.

She's better than me, I would have ordered food only for me and the kids.

My MIL was still going on about what was wrong with me and why I was a failure.

I "love" how MIL is calling her a failure, while eating the food OP bought with her money.

I asked my husband if he had anything to say.

The baby clearly can't say anything that mommy doesn't approve 🥺.

He said his mother had a point and it wouldn't hurt if I acted 'more like a proper woman' and 'took better care of my home and children'.

DIVORCE!

He said tradition was tradition for a reason and it was kind of insulting that I thought I was too good for how he was raised.

FUCK OFF!

This is where I might be the asshole. I told him tradition won't allow a man on 35k to support a family of 5 and he was too broke to be so sexist.

You go, girl!

He looked hurt and I saw tears welling in his eyes.

Ahahahahahah.

Godo.

He deserve this.

He excused himself from the table. I regret saying this in front of our children,

Oh fuck. I forgot the children were there.

But not your fault, MIL and hubby started it in front of the kids.

You did the right thing to put them in their place, you gave your children a really good lesson.

but him saying that to me after I'm busting my ass to clean up his mess on top of having to deal with his parents was too much for me. AITA.

NTA.

This is divorce for me, I can't stay with a man like this.

Taken from:

r/AmItheAsshole
u/Ok_Schedule1138