AITA? Reaction

27. Refusing to invite cousin to more hang-outs.

AITA For refusing to invite my cousin to any more of my hang-outs and telling my aunt and uncle that Claire making no effort is probably the real reason why she isn't making any friends?

My aunt and uncle are down on their luck, they moved in with my grandparents, and now my cousin Claire (15 y.o.) is going to the same school is me (16 y.o.)

Claire does have some minor issues that could discourage potential friends, but they really don't matter compared to the fact that she doesn't talk to anyone.

Is that because she's shy, maybe? When I was younger I was more comfortable with people approaching me, than the other way around.

Claire immediately ends any conversation that other people try to have with her,

Oh, ok, then this can be a real problem.

and she's been like that for years

After moving, my aunt and uncle told me that Claire is scared that she's going to be bullied again like she was at her last school,

Is that why she doesn't talk anymore? Because if that's the case she should go see a therapist.

and asked me to invite Claire to hang out with me and my friends. I did, and it went nowhere.

Me and my friends tried to start conversations with Claire about herself. But she'd always just be like "sure" or "I don't know." She didn't ask anyone else about themselves. She went on her phone and basically made no real effort back.

Well, you did all you can do then.

I told my family about it, and my aunt and uncle asked me to give Claire another chance. Same story. Claire hung out with my friend group multiple times and she hasn't shown any indication that she even wants to be there.

Again: THERAPY!

School just started, and Claire is not being any different. According to a friend, Claire actually refused to participate in the class icebreaker and got called to the teacher's desk after class (He had to get to his other class and didn't see/hear anything after that.)

My aunt and uncle came to me again and told me that Claire is upset because she can't seem to make friends,

Yeah, it happens when you don't talk.

and they asked if she could hang out with me and my friends again. This time, I told them no. We don't click in the first place, and honestly have no common interests. She can join a club or talk to people by herself. Think of what they would recommend if I wasn't at the same school and tell her to do that.

(This is where I was probably the asshole)

No, you aren't.

I kept talking and said I get she's having a hard time and maybe won't let anyone in for fear of being bullied.

That's why I think she should see a therapist.

But nobody wants to chase a person who gives no effort back into a conversation.

True, it's in fact tiring.

And her acting this way is probably the real reason why she isn't making any friends

My aunt and uncle went off at me, and they and my parents got into an argument over it. My aunt and uncle told me you're not gonna have any contact with most of the people you hung out with in high school but Claire will always be my cousin and I need to "get over" myself and help her. I'm expecting too much and that if I were bullied at my old school, I wouldn't suddenly feel safe at the new one, and to have some patience and empathy.

I felt I've already done enough in the patience and empathy department. Claire made no effort back and clearly no one can make friends for her. I see the last bit of what I said as a reality check, but my aunt and uncle have basically called it bullying and my parents didn't really take a stance on it. AITA?

NTA. You did enough.

Taken from:

r/AmITheAsshole
u/EntrepreneurSoft1858