𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℝ𝕠𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕌𝕤

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝔼𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 | ᴀᴡᴀᴋᴇɴɪɴɢ

Hudson

I was pulling weeds out of my little garden in the early morning sunlight when it hit me like a ton of bricks for the very first time: I was falling in love with Colton.

It hit me out of nowhere—a sudden realization that I was falling in love with him...

It wasn't just the way he looked at me, with that easy grin that made my chest tighten, or the way he made me feel like I was the only person in the world when we talked.

It was more than that. It was the way he saw me.

With Emily, things had always been... smooth, predictable. We'd been good together, but there was always a sense of distance, like we were following a script we both knew by heart. She was driven, focused, and she'd had a clear path she wanted to follow—one that eventually led her away from me to study pastries in France. There was a kind of safety in that, before she left me... But also a lack of spontaneity, of real connection.

I'd thought I was okay with that until I met Colton.

Colton was nothing like Emily. He was kind, but adventurous and honest in a way that left no room for pretenses. He didn't hold back. He didn't play it safe. With him, I felt like I could be myself, flaws and all, and he'd still look at me like I was worth it... Where Emily and I had kept things neat and tidy, Colton was all rough edges and sincerity. I found myself drawn to it, and to him...

He didn't make me feel like I had to be perfect; he just wanted me to be real. And for the first time, I wanted that too. I wanted to be real with him, to show him all the parts of myself that I'd kept hidden before.

I wasn't just falling for him—I was falling for the way he made me feel like I could finally breathe.

It was the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn't paying attention, or the way he'd listen to me talk about my garden like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

The more I thought about it, the clearer it became: I was falling in love with him, and I was falling hard. The funny thing was, I didn't mind. Not one bit.

I thought back to the other day, when I'd worked up the courage to go to Colton's shop. That was a big deal for me—something I normally wouldn't have done without overanalyzing every possible outcome first... The nerves had kicked in the second I walked through the door, especially when I caught the look his dad gave me. 

It was like I didn't belong there, like I was intruding. It hurt. The tension in the room was thick, and I couldn't help but worry that I wasn't making the best impression... I almost thought maybe I'd made a mistake.

But when I hugged Colton later, all of that insecurity faded away. The way he held me, solid and sure, made all the awkwardness and uncertainty worth it... That moment—feeling the warmth of his body against mine, hearing his heartbeat so close—it was like nothing else mattered.

Not even his dad's disapproval could dampen that feeling.

I realized then that I needed to keep pushing myself like this. I'd been so cautious for so long, always taking the safe route, but Colton made me want to be braver. He was worth the risk, worth stepping out of my comfort zone. And if that meant dealing with a little tension or awkwardness, I could handle it. Because at the end of the day, being with him was what I really wanted.