ENDLESSLY YOURS | Jay Park

017 | biggest priority

Ryu Yeseul
───────────

It does feel quite sentimental to pack my things without knowing if I will return or not. I will still visit, of course, and help my mother with the store, but I may not live here anymore. This will always be my forever home, even if I end up living in the royal castle for the rest of my life.

I opened my bedside table and found the reason I am in this position right now - my deck of tarot cards. The Prince of Hearts card was on the top, staring into my soul. It's not my favourite card anymore after everything I've been through thanks to him.

Somehow, it feels wrong to keep it. After all, I stole it from my mother and now I feel melancholy when I look at it. And, if my mother missed it, she would have told me, right?

"Can I come in?" My mother asked while she knocked on the door.

I told her to come in as I threw the deck of cards into my bag.

"How does it feel?" She asked me as she sat down on the bed.

"Unreal. But I look forward to it," I answered.

"Marrying Prince Heeseung is gonna be the best thing that has ever happened to you. You love him and he loves you. And most marriages don't look like that," My mother said.

From a third perspective, it looks like Prince Heeseung and I are perfect. We are everything you could dream of. Except our love is a lie and nobody knows it.

Our love is an act. Prince Heeseung's feelings are fake but feel right. My feelings are one giant question mark. I don't have the time to think about myself because I spend all my time worrying about Prince Heeseung and questioning Jay.

"It's gonna be empty here without you. Make sure you visit at least three times a week," My mother replied with a smile.

"I promise," I said and smiled back.

"And also, I hope you continue to stay away from that gut," My mother reminded me.

She is talking about Jay. I want to say "I promise," but I don't want any broken promises between my mother and me. Pulling white lies here and there because of Jay is hard enough.

Is this why people say promises are meant to be broken? Because you make a promise with someone despite knowing you will break it. However, you still want to give the other person hope and comfort and the best way to do so is to promise things.

⚔️

The king and queen are waiting for me by the entrance door. They welcomed me with open arms and told me how happy they were with me moving in. Prince Heeseung is currently away but will be back before dinner.

If I didn't have a bag with me with my things, it would feel like I was just visiting them. And once I get reminded of my bag, I realise I'm gonna live here.

I opened the door to my room and immediately noticed Jay lying down on my bed. I thought my moving into the castle would lead to fewer meetings with Jay. But I guess I will never get rid of him.

"Don't you have better things to do?" I asked him as I walked into the room.

"It depends on how you prioritise things and right now, you are my biggest priority. You see, I am here to apologise," Jay answered as he stood up.

"You are here to apologise?" I repeated to make sure I heard it right.

"Everyone makes mistakes, including myself. I shouldn't have brought you to places by force without any explanation," Jay explained.

He is standing right in front of me and his eyes are not leaving mine despite me looking away from time to time. I should feel uncomfortable but I don't. Jay doesn't scare me or make me uncomfortable. I don't even hate him.

"I'm glad you finally see it from my perspective," I replied as I crossed my arms.

"I just wish I had done it earlier. But I guess I was scared you would leave me. It felt like I had to force and scare you to make you tag along," Jay said.

"You are not scared to lose me. You are scared to lose the precious things I happen to have. I am not an object," I replied.

"And who said you are not my precious item?" Jay questioned.

I hate to admit it, but he got a point. Maybe I just assumed it was an item because of the way he described it. But I don't want to be his precious item. There is no way I am either.

I have to remember that Jay and Prince of Hearts are the same person with the same act. All he wants is to ruin my life so he can benefit from it.

Suddenly, Jay grabbed my chin. His eyes switched between my eyes and lips. His chest was soon pressed against mine. I heard a heart beating fast and loudly.

Jay immediately took a step back. He looks shocked, confused and scared. I don't understand why he is panicking, hearing and feeling your heartbeat is normal.

"I'm sorry," Jay quickly said before he walked away.

My eyes followed him until the door was closed. I sat down on the bed trying to understand what just happened and why. It would be easier if Jay is not already a mystery full of trick questions.

Maybe I was not supposed to hear his heartbeat. But why?

A heart beats faster when you are exercising, stressed, or scared. It can also beat faster when you are near someone you love. Jay didn't seem to be close to any of them. It's not like he was scared of me or ran the whole time we talked.

Or, in the worst-case scenario, the guy was right about me being Jay's true love. Jay why his heart started to beat fast and loudly. That's why he looked so shocked and scared. It sounds silly but logical at the same time.

Is the reason why I am Jay's precious item because I am his true love?