020 | do you love me?

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Ryu Yeseul
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What is he doing? Why is he offering his life for mine? Since when has my life been worth more than his?

I felt the blade leave my throat and the person behind me got up and pointed one of their swords to Jay. He looks unbothered as if he didn't just sacrifice his life for mine. He looked so shocked earlier but now he looks calm.

"Wait!" I said.

"You can't do this," I added as I looked at Jay.

"I have to, for you," He said.

"No. You don't have to do this for me at all," I replied as I approached him.

Suddenly, Jay wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I could hardly breathe. His heart is beating again. It's beating loud and hard like it was to punch me in the chest. There is something special about hearing someone's heartbeat like this. Jay's heart is not the only one beating loud and hard. Mine does it too.

"Everything is gonna be fine. Whenever it will be with or without me," Jay said.

He slowly removed his arms from me and took my hands. We are not in an embrace anymore, but we are still as close as if we are in one. I still hear Jay's heartbeat too.

"Please remember that, my gorgeous," Jay added with a smile.

After that, Jay let go of my hands and followed the unknown person. My hands started to shake and my vision got blurry. I can't see if Jay is gone because my vision is gone. All I know is that he is not here, he is not right next to me as he usually is.

What have I done?

I dried the tears as I ran inside to find Prince Heeseung. I don't want Prince Heeseung or any of the guests to see me this way, but their opinions don't matter right now. There are more important things to care about right now.

Prince Heeseung noticed me and started to run up to me. I continued to run towards him and grabbed his arm to run upstairs along with him. Prince Heeseung kept asking what happened and tried to stop me so we could speak. I let go of his arm once we got inside my bedroom. I walked towards my drawer where I had hidden the potion Jay had given me.

I took a sip and Prince Heeseung yelled at me out of concern. I turned around to look at him as I placed the position back in my drawer.

"What are you doing? Has something happened? Why are you-" Prince Heeseung started to ask.

"Do you love me?" I asked back.

"Of course I love you. Haven't I told you that lately?" Prince Heeseung answered.

"You have, every day to be exact. But there is something you need to know about yourself," I said.

Prince Heeseung is trying to understand what I mean but can't figure out what it could be. He looked like me earlier today when he told me he had hidden something for me. What Prince Heeseung told me was not as I expected, and what I'm about to tell him is not what he is going to expect either.

"I'm sorry," I said before I placed my hands around his neck and kissed him.

I heard glass shatter and immediately pulled away. Prince Heeseung avoided eye contact with me. He had his hand placed on his heart. His glass heart shattered into pieces, and I heard it. I can feel it too, but not as much as Prince Heeseung.

Prince Heeseung looked at me. The sparks he usually has in his eyes are gone. Now, his eyes are dark and empty. I decided to take one step forward but he took two steps back. It's obvious what his true feelings are. He was never and will never fall in love with me. If he did, he wouldn't look at me right now as if I was disgusting. Like rotten food eaten by rats with diseases.

"What have you done?" Prince Heeseung asked me.

"I'm saving you from me," I answered.

I want to give Prince Heeseung a proper explanation of the whole situation, from the very beginning to today, but I can't. Having the true Prince Heeseung in front of me makes me ashamed and embarrassed of my actions. I know everything is not my fault, but I have still done things I am not proud of.

From Prince Heeseung's perspective, it's understandable why he wouldn't trust me or my words. At the end of the day, I have basically brainwashed him and why would you trust someone who has brainwashed you?

"I should have understood why you were spending so much time with Jay," Prince Heeseung said.

He clapped loudly three times and shortly after, two guards entered the room.

"Take her away, immediately," Prince Heeseung told them. 

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