US - Harry Styles

Chapter 4

Tilda. 

i sat anxiously on my couch twirling my rings on my finger's. something i always used to do to harry's rings. Harry is supposed to be here in 5 minutes. 

I raced home from work, had a shower, did my makeup and put on some new clothes. I don't know why i felt the need to get ready like i did, Harry had seen me at my worst and alway's said i still looked beautiful. But i want him to think that i have grown and i'm okay without him and one step to making him thank that is by looking like i have my shit together. 

the door knocks. 2 minutes early. i walk over anxiously to open it. i have my hand on the door knob but i freeze. is this really a good idea? 

I open the door and there he stood. he had aged somewhat, his eye bags had grown darker and he had started growing a little stubble on his jaw. i looked him up and down as he did the same. i took in every aspect of him, this may really be the last time i see him depending on how well this conversation goes. 

"Hi" was all i managed to squeeze out in a whisper. we were looking directly into each others eyes. eyes i thought id never see in person again. I felt weak, i wanted him back so bad. Harry chuckled at my nervousness, clearly thinking it is unwarranted considering how long we have known each other. 

"flat white, one sugar" he said passing me my coffee with a small smile, still without having come inside. 

"you remembered" i said out loud on accident causing him to furrow his eyebrow's. "Um sorry, come in" i quickly shook my head and moved to the side so he could come through the door. 

He walked through the kitchen and dining area and sat down on the couch. i followed him. 

"place look's exactly the same as the last time i was here" he said, trying to start a conversation. Before Harry and i moved in together, i shared this place with Mila, then when we broke up i moved back in with Mila. I was so glad she took me considering she was upset i had moved out in the first place, telling me "be careful, he's going to be a rockstar soon" i had just laughed at her response. i should of taken her more seriously. His eye's glanced over to the photo's on the mantle above the fire place. i followed his eye's and quickly realised the photo of harry and I was still there. i could tell he had seen it, and he couldn't stop looking at it.

"just left it there for good memories" i whispered reassuring him that i didn't keep it there in the hope's that we would get back together some day, even though that really was the reason. he shifted in his seat and sat awkwardly to put his hand in his back pocket and he grabbed out his wallet, he flipped it open and reached it over to me, i looked at him with confusion only to be met with his face telling me to look inside of the wallet. i grabbed it and looked. a photo of me, a Polaroid he had taken in our second year of dating. i could feel the tear's coming back, and a lump formed in my throat. 

"w- why?" i said, still looking at the photo, i couldn't look at him so he could see the tear's welling in my eyes. 

"I told you when we first got together, you are my good luck charm" i looked up to face him and he was smiling at me, a real smile. 

"has it been in here this whole time?" i closed the wallet giving it back to him. 

"yeah. i'm scared that if i take it out something bad will happen" he chuckled to himself which caused me to chuckle back "but i also like looking at it sometime's, when i miss you" 

"harry.." he cut me off. "no look, i came here to tell you that i miss you but i am in a relationship" 

the tear's fell. how could he? i alway's thought that when he was ready he would come back to me but he didn't. this was all starting to look like a mistake, i never should of let him come here. 

"say something Tilda" he paused and took a deep breath " actually say something instead of just leaving like you did last time" he looked more agitated now, i hadn't seen him this angry since the time a fan grabbed me by my hair on accident when we were walking through a crowd. something in me quiet enjoy's seeing him angry. he isn't an angry person but when he does get like this, i hate to admit it, but it is kinda hot. 

"there was no changing your mind back then harry, and if you are already with someone right now, there is nothing for me to fight for" i said calmly, but my awnser only riled him up more. he stood up off the couch and started pacing around the living room. 

"there was changing my mind back then, i wanted you to reassure me that we could do it, i though splitting up was something you wanted and all i wanted to hear was for you to say we could of done it, but you didn't. and now look where we are" he huffed in anger. 

I was shocked to say the least. i didn't realise that i could of done more but i'm angry that he wanted me to be the one to save our relationship. 

"How was i supposed to know what you were thinking. of course i thought we could of worked it out. but you said what you said and i didn't want to add more stress so i just agreed" I got up to walk to the kitchen for some water. but as i turned he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into him. our faces were so close, our foreheads were touching. i missed his touch, all the time we wasted where we could of been together. he placed both of his hand's on either side of my face and kissed me, i kissed him back. i missed him so much, and then i remembered. i pushed him back. 

"harry, you have a girlfriend" his eye's widened and he stood back, he must of just realised what he had done. 

"i wish you never texted me, saying you listened to the album" he said as he walked to the couch picking up his phone and wallet and walking to the door. 

"why?" was all i managed to spit out as i realised he was now leaving. 

"because then i would still be thinking you didn't want to be with me and i wouldn't of fallen right back in love with you" i stood there in shock. he still love's me. 

i watched him walk out the door and slam it shut. 

what the fuck is going on?