US - Harry Styles

Chapter 11.

Tilda.

Austin and I were currently in the car on the way to get lunch. He was driving, with one hand on my thigh and the other on the steering wheel. He gave my thigh a little squeeze and I looked over to him and smiled. Austin and I's little PR thing ended after the MET but we continued to see each other and then after a few week's he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was thrilled. I didn't stutter to say yes. This is so exciting for me, being with someone else, and Austin is so amazing, he is everything i could have asked for and i think for the first time in maybe a year i am genuinely happy. I don't think anything could ruin this.

We were listening to the radio and this nice little guitar solo started playing.

"Oo, this sound's nice," Austin says, then removes his hand off my thigh to turn the volume up. He was right, it does sound nice. Then the lyric's started. My head shot up in shock.

Don't you call him baby
We're not talking lately
Don't you call him what you used to call me

"Is this Harry?" Austin ask's, I looked up to him and he had confusion written all over his face. I knew it was Harry, and I had no doubt this song was about me. I really didn't think he would pick up on the pet name I had used for Austin. But he clearly did. "I- I think so" I said , answering Austin's question. He turn's it up a little louder.

I, I confess I can tell that you are at your best
I'm selfish so I'm hating it
I noticed that there's a piece of you in how I dress
Take it as a compliment

I am at my best, and he is ruining it. I had forgotten about Harry after the MET. But why does he hate that I'm okay? I thought he would be happy for me? This is what he wanted. I look back to Austin whose eyes are just focused on the road but when I look at his hand on the wheel I notice his knuckles are going white as he tightens his grip on the wheel. I can tell he is obviously upset. Is he confused? Or angry? Or upset? Or even uncomfortable. I know that I am feeling all of those things.

I, I just miss
I just miss your accent and your friends
Did you know I still talk to them?
Does he take you walking round his parents' gallery?

My Australian accent isn't even that strong anymore so I don't even know what he is talking about there. I scoff loudly on accident when hearing the lyrics which causes Austin to look at me and furrowed his eyebrows together. Does he still talk to Mila? She is my only friend so if he is talking about anyone it would be her, how would i even feel if Mila did still talk to him? She always liked him and they did get along so well. Who am I to take a friend away from her? But at the same time I couldn't help but feel a little bit betrayed.

Then the chorus played again one more time then the song ended. There was silence in the car neither Austin nor I saying anything. I wasn't quite sure what to say to be quite frank.

"So" Austin say's then takes a deep sigh. "I am assuming that is about you" he says quietly, he was asking it as a question but i could tell that it was more of a statement. I shake my head in disbelief. I grab his hand off his lap and bring it closer to me and squeeze it.

"Trust me, i was not flattered by that song" I feel him relax. "If I'm being honest, it only made me feel angry that he is still writing song's about me" lie. Lie. LIE. you just lied to him Tilda. How could you, he has been nothing but nice, he's a good guy. Tell him the song upset you, tell him the song ignited a little bit of hope that you and Harry could make it work again.

"I am so happy with you" I say to him with a smile, shit. "I only want to be with you" I carry on. So much for being honest Matilda. God. he looks at me and smiles. By now we have parked the car and he unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to face me better. He leans forward and gives me a kiss. A beautiful kiss that gives me butterflies, but they could also be the guilt.

"Well then he needs to move on" he says and wink at me. I purse my lips together and give him a little smile and nod my head. He brings his hand up and puts it on my face and uses the pad of his thumb and does little circles on my cheek.

"I wrote a song about you" I blurted out, I guess I did, but it was more about how I was feeling about Harry when we first started seeing each other, that's who I had in mind when I started writing it. But I could definitely pass it off as being about him, and I feel like he needs this right now. He looks at me with wide eyes and a big girl across his face. "Did you?" he whispers in disbelief. I nod.

"Can I hear it?" he asks

"Not yet, it isn't finished" I smirk at him "But it's called worth it" we smile at each other.

God just as i said nothing could ruin what i had going, harry just had to release a song. To ruin everything, and now he is back in my head and i cant stop thinking about him. Why does he alway's do this? He is right he is selfish. But god do i miss his selfish ass. What the fuck am i going to do? I think as i stare at the beautiful and genuine guy in front of me.