Still Breathing

Chapter 21: Gravity

Marley Pov present day 2022

Sharons Baby shower

Bucky Barnes has always been that one person to extract such deep passionate emotions from me. whether it be pure happiness, anger, or love. he has this way of making me feel like everything will be okay, even if its for a short time, before reality kicks in.

Even now, as I watch him and Julie talk, laugh and enjoy each other's company, a part of me wants to gravitate over to him and claim him. he's mine. it's not necessarily jealousy I'm feeling. It's just fact. No matter what happens, he will always belong to me in some weird way. and I will always be his. no matter who or what comes between us. but the other part of me knows I have to let him go. Julie is a nice girl. the type of girl he deserves. But who's to say who she will become once his family get their claws into her.

Nat is right though. I have to be honest with him. maybe the only way to make sure he moves on, I will have to tell him. make him hate me. but I have to do it in a way without dragging him into my family's mess.

I never meant for any of my mess to trickle down to him. I always figured he would move on easily. But I was wrong. I see that now. I'm deeply lost in my thoughts when I feel a hand on shoulder gently shake me. I look over to see Lamar sitting next to me. "You good?"

I smile and nod. I look out onto the dance floor and say, "Julies nice."

Lamar looks at Julie and Bucky dancing to Stacy's mom by fountains of Wayne. "yea I guess."

After a few minutes, Lamar asks, "how did the talk go?"

I shrug. "Were good. I apologized and he apologized."

"That's it?"

I laugh, "what else was supposed to happen?"

"I don't know, bathroom sex maybe. you know how you two are. How many times did we show up at one of your apartments back in the day to find you two going at it like rabbits in the middle of the afternoon."

I look down into my lap and sigh. Sadness flooding me. Lamar grimaces and says, "sorry. this must be hard."

"No. its exactly the way its supposed to be."

"its not. and nothing will be the way it should be until you two fix this. I never meant any two people more suited for each other. if you two don't work out, then there is no hope for the rest of us." Lamar rests his head in his hand and sighs.

I smirk at him. "well aren't you the romantic..."

"I wasn't until I met you. so get out there and get your man." Lamar gestures towards bucky who is now heading towards the bar with Julie.

"he's Julies man." I remind him.

Lamar opens his mouth to continue this argument when John plops down in the chair next to me, causing the table to shake. "The chicks here are lame. But I think I can get Sharons mom to go home with me."

Lamar and I look at him disgusted before I say, "You are still a pig."

He leans towards me and makes soft pig noises. Lamar rolls his eyes and I laugh as I shake my head. "It's a shame your still single."

"why are you rethinking that doctor?" he wriggles his eyebrows at me and says, "because I always thought you and I would make beautiful music together."

I look over my shoulder at Lamar who is holding in his laugh and shaking his head at his friend. When I turn back to John I say, "and deprive all the single women out there your company. I think not. you need to be free to make beautiful music with...other people."