Still Breathing

Chapter 1: Last kiss

 Bucky Pov

Present day 2022

When I open my eyes, I know today will be like yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. Just like its been for the last 2 years. Since I lost her, my life has been a series of unbearable moments. She has always been there, in some way or another since we were 16. I knew I loved her the moment I saw her. she was the only person that showed me any kindness when everyone else around me was nothing but critical and cruel at times. Even my parents. She was there for me Before Steve, Before Sam, before everyone.

I was cursed with being James Buchanan Barnes III. My grandfather founded the company that my father now runs and that I am now being groom to take over when he deems me ready. I've always been a disgrace of an heir in my fathers eyes. Seeing as I'm the only heir to the Barnes fortune, he has no other choice but to pass it to me. if he could live forever to keep that from happening, he would. I'm not cutthroat or ruthless enough. Its one of the many reasons why I will never be ready to take over. I don't fight him over it, though. I don't care about the money or the company. All I've ever wanted was Marley and somehow 3 years ago, I came home to a letter saying I'm sorry. No explanation, nothing. It was like she vanished. Nowhere to be found.

I drag myself out of bed and go shower. I put on my suit. Make sure my tie is straight. I don't shave, so I'm looking a little rough. I put my hair in a bun at the nape of my neck. I take a shot and grab my empty briefcase and head to the office. When I arrive, I'm greeted by Steve. His suit is always perfect. He comes in everyday definitely looking the part of an overpaid lawyer.

I met Steve when I was shipped off to an all-boy military school when I was 17. He had lost both of his parents in a tragic car accident and his guardians decided to take the money and send Steve away. Once he turned 18 and graduated, he took them to court and won back his family estate. That was his motivation to become a lawyer. We went on to attend yale together. He was pre-law, and I went undecided until the very last minute and decided on a business degree.

"He is not in a good mood and your late." Steve says as he hands me a coffee and walks with me to my office.

"When is he ever in a good mood?" I sip the coffee and sit at my desk. Steve sits in one of the chairs in front of my desk and unbutton his blue suit jacket. I place my briefcase on my desk.

Steve eyes it and asks, "Just out of curiosity, is there anything in there?"

I smirk and stand. I open up the briefcase and show him a doughnut. He laughs and I just smile. I don't laugh anymore. I actually can't remember the last time I laughed. Steve looks at me for a long moment and ask, "what did you do last night?"

I look down at my desk and then out the window. He knows what I did last night. I don't know why he needs me to say it. I frown at him. then say, "Don't start. "

"It's not healthy buck. It's been 3years. At some point you will have to let her go."

I don't say anything because I know he's right. but this is all I have left of her. every night, I go home and search for her on the internet. You would think finding her would be simple seeing as she is a stark. But like I said, it's like she vanished. The starks are not as wealthy as my family, but they are definitely up there. Tony stark took over the Stark enterprise when his father the great Howard stark passed away. Even my father grieved Howards death. Considering the man has no heart that says a lot. But after his death rumors started swirling around that Stark were war profiteers. It's said that's how they made their Billions. And not only that, but they were selling weapons to the enemy. After this, it was said, it was scandal after scandal. Tony, a playboy, impregnated a dancer. Depends on who you ask, she was a showgirl from Vegas. Some say she was a random stripper. Hell, I've even heard she was a radio city Rockette.