Satan's Sinner's #3: Becca and Bullet

Chapter 19

Cameron POV

Fuck this hurt to talk about. But I needed to be honest with her. She deserved to know I was and still am working on me. To be better for me. But also, for them. If I can have a future with her, I want to be my best self. After waiting to be sure that Brody really was back into whatever they were playing before I began again, I chanced a look at her. She was smiling at the kids hiding under blankets of pillows and asked 'where you' and then they all popped out together and bust out laughing. I smiled, looking at her. It's these moments I know I will remember forever. These are the moments I will live off of if she chooses not to be with me.

I cleared my throat, and she looked back at me, growing serious again. I hope this was the only time she wanted to talk about it. It was painful, but if she needed more later, I'd tell her. But I'm giving her everything now. I want it all out there.

"Hound called her brother the day before we left Daytona. He didn't tell me til I got back and found out you'd left. Like, took all your shit and left me. Hound said her brother had been looking for her. She had an Old Man, but he wasn't just any guy in the club like she led me to believe, she was married to their President, Wolf. Her brother and Wolf washed their hands of her. Apparently, this wasn't the first or only time this had happened. No idea what's happened to her. Haven't seen or heard from her since."

That was it. All was laid bare at her feet. She was quiet. The remaining time spent cooking. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I decided to make myself busy. I set the table and went to set up bathtime and bedtime for all the kids. I laid out jammies for all three, and pulled out a nighttime pull up for Brody and overnight diapers for the girls. I put towels and bath toys in the tub for the kids. I had their special scrubbies laid out for them also. I wasn't sure how the rest of the night was going to go.

But she knew everything. She knew my history with her. She knew my insecurities. She knew everything. She also, hopefully, knew that I would wait forever for her.

It was over two years of therapy to get to this point. Of admitting, I was an absolute idiot who gave into his fears and insecurities. Now I just have to give her time.

Here's hoping, I guess. I paced upstairs for just a moment, before I went down and helped finish setting everything out for dinner with the kids. I got everyone's hands washed and sat at the table. Which is a feat in itself with three toddlers. Becca brings the pork chops over, and the oven beeps.

"Sit. I've got this." I smiled at her. Proud to be showing the kids how a man is supposed to act. How he takes care of his family. Not like the immature fuck I used to be.

I just hope she can forgive me. It's that little sliver of hope that keeps me holding on. That keeps me coming back for more. Saying that it's not over. That there's a chance.

Becca POV

That was a lot of information he threw at me all at once. She was an ex. Someone he knew was toxic and that he was toxic, but he chose to go the 'easy' route, but he said loving me was as easy as breathing. I have questions. Maybe. I needed to think.

I stayed quiet. Watching him. Watching every interaction with the kids. How he had taken the time to get everything laid out for each kid for bedtime and towels for bathtime. It was different from the Bullet I first met. He wasn't cocky. He smiled more easily, at more people than me. He was able to talk about things he used to gloss over. Even if he was talking about love with Brody and how you know if you love someone. That's an interesting conversation.

The end consensus was, since he didn't pull her hair or share his cookie snack, he didn't like her. She's still annoying. Whoever she is.

He explained how you know you love someone in terms Brody would understand. And...it was actually really sweet. Bullet said he picks on me, but in a different way than he does. Brody turned his head at that, and even I was listening as I washed the girls, the two of them squirting the bath toys at each other.

"You know that I like Aunt Becky, right?" he nodded, so Bullet continued, "Well, instead of pulling her hair or putting glitter all over her glue gift, I buy her flowers and give her food. It makes sure she notices me, like the glitter and hair pulling, but it makes her smile instead of getting mad." Bullet rinsed Brody off, helping him out while my nephew looked deep in thought. I couldn't hear much as their conversation happened further down the hall in Brody's room. Bullet came back, helping me get the girls out and dried off in Grey's room.

"Brody wants to say night to you. I've got them." He said with a smile. Definitely different. This was a confident dad smile. His smile before would have been a cheeky, 'I know I'm getting into your pants tonight' smile. Interesting.

"Aunt Becky?" I smiled at the little boy lying in bed. Dinos under each arm. Both T. rex's though, because those are the best dinos out there. Obviously.

"Yeah, bud?" I smiled down at him, brushing his hair back, watching as his little eyes struggled to stay open. It was his weakness. Someone playing with his hair put him out every time.

"You love Buwwet?" Now...that was a big question. I knew I did. I just didn't know how to feel about all the things we'd talked about tonight. There was a lot of information. But...I'd always been honest with my nephew and my daughter. I wasn't about to stop now.

I smiled slightly, "I do. It's just tough. He hurt my feelings really badly. He made me really sad."

"He shay sowwy?" Kids. Everything is so simple with them.

"Yes. He said sorry."

"He hug and say wove you?" Such simple solutions.

"I didn't want the hug. But he did tell me he loves me."

"Okay. Be happy now." Could it really be that simple?

The mind of a three-year-old. It's as simple as saying sorry, hugging them and saying I love you. I kissed his forehead, smiling at him before closing his door.

Lots to think about for sure. Walking back out into the hallway, I was startled by Bullet being there. He had his arms crossed over his chest, head down, leaning on the wall.

"The girls are in bed. I think they'll be asleep really fast. I'm gonna go. I want to give you the space to think." I nodded my head, still unsure about where my voice went. "Let me know when you're ready to talk. I'll be there."

I nodded again. He nodded once, looking like he wanted to hug me, but I wasn't sure about that. I was feeling all kinds of things. All over the place. My emotions were out there. I watched as he walked down the stairs and I heard the front door shut.

I sat at the top of stairs for a while.

Thinking.