A HEALTHY LOVE

CH 2: Alex & McCullough Confrontation

Morning had come, but McCullough had barely slept. She returned to Litchfield's maximum-security building and put on her blue uniform. Once her shift had officially started, she made her way to C-block. The cells were still closed. This allowed her to write a quick note. She slid it under Alex's door, requesting they meet in their closet after breakfast.

She wasn't sure if Alex would show. Uncertainty gripped her as the inmates filed out of their cells for some grub. McCullough perked up when she saw Alex walking across the block to get her tray. Alex's face didn't show anything, and she didn't look in McCullough's direction. That didn't give McCullough much hope.

Regardless, she made her excuses with her fellow guards once breakfast was over. She slipped away to the closet. She felt a wave of relief wash over her. Alex was there, leaning casually against the shelving units in the corner.

"Thanks for coming" McCullough croaked.
Alex folded her arms with a sigh. "I came because I know you're in pain. I'm sorry that I'm responsible, but I haven't changed my mind."

"I know you don't think we should see each other anymore. But that's because you won't let yourself be happy. You know, you actually make me look forward to coming to this horrible place. And I know you feel something too. I've seen how you look at me," McCullough began. Alex simply shook her head and replied to her coldly. "I have a wife" Alex responded simply.

McCullough, after staying up nearly all night thinking about how to approach this very conversation, decided to steer things away from Piper. After all, Piper had not seen her lurking in the shadows, so Alex had no way of knowing that she had almost confronted her. McCullough decided to instead focus on their relationship. "Yeah, you have a wife" McCullough said softly "But you aren't denying that you feel something for me. I know it might not be love, but something is there. And I think that scares you. You're afraid of what could happen if we keep seeing each other, so you're shutting us down."

Alex: "I'm shutting us down because this,whatever you think it is- is not fair to my wife or to you. Just like I told you the other day. You shouldn't be someone's side piece, especially not an inmate's. You're risking your job, the one you said you can't afford to lose, and it's not like you can take me home or out to dinner. It's not a normal relationship."

"And your marriage is?" McCullough said, challenging Alex's assertion. Alex grew quiet and McCullough took a step forward. "I don't care if my job is at risk, and I don't care that this isn't a normal relationship. All I care about is you. You're all I want and you know that. You don't have to worry about what I'm doing outside of work or if I'm with someone else. If you can honestly tell me that you trust your wife, that you don't think she might be with somebody else right now, that you don't worry she'll leave you, fine. I'll back off. But if you can't? If you can't, then you have to explain why a marriage like that is holding you back from something real and healthy....with someone who's loyal to you."

Alex began to open her mouth, yet it snapped shut. She put her glasses atop her head so that she could rub her tired eyes. McCullough could see that what she was saying getting to Alex. There was a ray of hope within McCullough that she was getting to her. "I love Piper. I'm committed to her, and that's all there is to it" Alex said, crossing her arms taking a step back. 

McCullough: "But do you trust her? Do you think she really is waiting for you like a good wife out there, or do you think she might be seeing someone else? Someone she might leave you for?"

Alex: "Why do you keep asking me that? Do you know something?"

McCullough: "All I'm saying is that her life is out there now, and you know it too. You know it in your heart. She was always going to leave you."

"I can't listen to this.." Alex said as she attempted to exit the closest. McCullough quickly blocked her path and stared at her. "I will never bother you again if you can tell me that she won't leave you. Tell me she'll stay, and I won't fight this" McCullough said softly.

Alex: "I don't know...I don't know if she will stay. That doesn't change anything. She's still my wife."

McCullough: "You're the only person I can talk to in here.  Can't we just...can we be friends? Can we at least be that?

Alex: "I don't think we can. We crossed a line."

"I don't believe that. I think you're scared that you will just want more" McCullough said boldly.  Slowly, McCullough places her hands on Alex's cheek. Although, Alex briefly put atop of McCullough's hand for several seconds, she just a quickly pried McCullough's hand off of hers. Alex stared at McCullough for several more seconds before walking past and out the closet door,without even saying a word. McCullough fell against the closest wall and cried profusely. While she had sliver of hope that conversation would go her way, she now feared the worst. She may have most Alex for good.