The Magician's Sons

Chapter 48

While everyone's attention was fixed on Reuben's tale, Copernicus sat feeling out of place, dejected, and despised. With no one paying him the slightest heed, he finally slipped out of the room and ran upstairs to his own.

He glanced into the mirror as he shut his door behind him and saw his own image staring back. He felt that it was a hypocritical reflection. This cleanliness and finery were like the shell of an ugly sea creature. It was fine to look at on the outside, but inside there was nothing but a grotesque, unwanted thing. What could ever change him? What could erase the fact that he was a lowborn orphan; that he had been in the sewers; that he had willingly thrown himself down among the refuse of his city?

He saw Jasper's kindly dog fast asleep on his bed. Heartbroken, he curled up beside the dear canine and shut his eyes against the tears which were welling up inside of them. Thoughts of a bleak, joyless future started playing in his mind. He was getting ever closer to the day when his time at Mr. Sterling's house would end. Oh, how he had wished and dreamed, sometimes, that the kind gentleman might never send him back. But Jasper hadn't said a word about his future, and Copper hadn't asked questions. He had been afraid to bring the subject up in case mentioning it would cut his stay with the Sterlings short. But how could he dream anymore? Jasper and Norman weren't going to keep a lowly child like him. They were only too kind to throw him out before he had fully recovered his strength.

An ache of loneliness made him feel an empty gap in his heart. What could fill that void? He felt like he was searching for something, but what? The feeling brought him back to the words which Bob had spoken when he had so carefully bandaged Copper's wounds. The man had been searching for something too. Through the long years, he had gone from place to place, always looking but never finding what he was after. Perhaps good old Bob felt lonely and empty too. It was love that Copernicus craved. He wanted to know that someone cared, that he belonged somewhere, that he was wanted. Softly, his troubled mind drifted toward his only answer. He remembered the song Bob had taught him, and in his memory, he suddenly heard the words of the Lord saying, "Come unto me". Jesus loved him. God would claim him with open arms. Jesus wouldn't leave him alone.

The tempest was slowly stilled in Copper's heart. It didn't take away the cutting pain which Norman's selfish sentiments had given him. But despite that, he had a little peace. As long as he had Jesus, he wouldn't be lost, no matter how alone he was on earth.

Meanwhile, Jasper's carriage rolled up outside. All of the man's attention was instantly claimed by Mr. Hart. After a warm greeting, the two men fell into a discussion about business. Mr. Hart was a clever, industrious man, and he had come to make a helpful alliance with his cousin. Becoming partners would expand both of their businesses and would bring some much-needed support to their lives.

Their quiet, uninterrupted chat was a relief to Norman. Mr. Hart was well-meaning, but with the older gentlemen grouped together, he felt freer to talk with his new hero. Reuben was more fascinating than anyone he had ever met, and he couldn't have chosen a better mentor. Reuben didn't inspire Norman to throw away his morals and judgement as Hugo had. He was staid and sensible. He promoted everything that was wise and good. In many ways, the man reminded Norman of his own father.

With a conscience often pricked by guilt, everything Jasper had tried to teach him as a child came back to his memory. He had been trained to be chaste, kind, self-controlled. But if a heart is full of pride and is accustomed to being selfish, it is almost impossible to attain any of those good qualities. That was where Norman found himself. He had a sickening sense that his heart had been turning wicked. He knew he needed to take the time to solve the problem, but he was so busy and self-centered that he wouldn't; not yet, at least.