The Dare - Mattheo Riddle

20. Hocus Pocus

I woke up late around 4pm classes were done I was supposed to meet harry but my whole body was numb and the thought of human interaction at the moment was quite unbareable, I couldn't muster the energy to move or care about anything beyond the suffocating numbness that wrapped around me.

Pansy had been persistent, pleading with me to go to class or even just come to breakfast at least, but I couldn't bring myself to face anyone.

I just couldn't bear the sad looks and whispered conversations that I knew would follow me everywhere.

all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and disappear, I wanted to escape my mind and body and become someone else for the week so I wasn't tangled in this endless pain.

The exhaustion was overwhelming along with the physical pain, a bone-deep weariness that reminded me of the void left by Enzo's death.

It was as if not just a part of me had died but my entire soul, It had barely been 24 hours, and I felt like a stranger in my own skin, my face and body scattered with scars that seemed to scream the agony I had went through.

There was a soft knock on my door, startling me.

Who would knock? people usually just barged in without warning.

"come in," I propped myself up in my bed, my voice ragged and rough from all the screaming and my eyes red and puffy from all the crying.

my body felt tired the second I sat up and all I wanted was to lay back down and close my eyes.

The door open and in walked Draco, he looked just as bad as me the bags under his eyes very noticeable his pale skin looked ghostly.

"you look like shit," I muttered sitting up in my bed.

he attempted a small laugh but it was more of a sigh, barley noticeable. It was the kind of laugh that told me he was trying to be strong but barley hanging on and crumbling beneath the surface.

"I can say the same about you," he muttered his voice heavy reminding me of my own, I could tell he had been crying from how strained his voice was.

He walked fully into my dorm and closed the door behind him and made his way over to my bed sitting next to me, the tension filling the room of unspoken hurt.

"I miss him," I whispered looking away my voice cracking at the though of Enzo, I don't know how much longer I can deal with this kind of pain.

The emptiness of his absence haunting me, my heart broke when I thought of how I would never hear his voice again, never getting to experience the playful banter between us or the gentle teasing, the realization that I would never be able to tell him I loved him and how he died thinking I didn't but I did.

I will always love him.

I hugged my knees to my chest trying to hold back the tears.

"I miss him too," his voice trembling as he spoke, "I want to hate him but he did the same thing I would've done if it were any of you so I cant be mad.. he loved you so fucking much Tessa please never forget it, you were his light," Draco spoke quietly his voice was filled with pain.

"I don't know where we went wrong but I loved him too, love him. A part of me will alway love him," I said quietly, part of me felt guilty knowing I was the reason but Draco was right he did what any of us would've done for the other.

"you should talk to mattheo," he added.

I looked at him confused and angry.

"talk to him? why on earth would I do that?!" I felt myself getting angry at the thought.