The Dare - Mattheo Riddle

22. What A Lie, What A Lie

Days bled into weeks, and weeks into a month.

That's how long I've imprisoned myself in my dorm, confined by the walls that seemed to close in tighter with each passing day.

The last time I left these confines was to visit Snape's office, and since then, I haven't left not even for a moment of fresh air.

Pansy eventually began staying in Draco's dorm, allowing me the solitude I craved. Despite her absence from my room, she made it a point to visit daily, making I consumed enough water and food.

She meant well but it was a constant reminder of my isolation.

Mattheo made a single, lame attempt to reach out. He knocked on my door, but I remained silent, the weight of his presence too much for me to bear it didn't stop him he still made his way inside which only led to us arguing or him arguing with a wall since I barley responded.

At first, everyone made an effort to pull me out of this self-imposed exile. I know they meant well but it only reminded me of my inability to connect with anyone.

My responses were minimal: "yes," "no," "I don't know," and the occasional, "leave me alone."

The first week was the most excruciating.

My mind played tricks on me, conjured nightmarish visions only I wasn't sleeping.

I saw Enzo's lifeless body rise again, his ghostly figure contorted in anguish, accusing me of his death sometimes standing in the corner of the room whispering, "it's all your fault Tessa," over and over again.

The horror of these hallucinations were so intense, it felt like I was balancing on the brink of madness—and perhaps I was.

I was currently in my bed staring at the ceiling for the millionth time, but for the first time these four walls were driving me to my limit I felt the need to get out.

For the first time in a month, I felt a desperate need to escape this prison, to find Mattheo. I longed for his arms around me, to hear him whisper assurances that everything would be alright.

Summoning every ounce of strength, I dragged myself out of bed and out of my dorm.

My feet felt like lead as I made my way down the stairs, each step slow and quiet. With every breath I took, I felt a tightening in my chest, as if it were about to burst from the pressure of my chest.

As I reached the final five steps, I overheard Pansy's voice, tinged with frustration and concern, and Mattheo's, heavy and emotionless. "I don't know what to do anymore," Pansy's voice trembled. "I don't think she's coming back from this, and if she does, she will never be the same."

I scoffed loudly, unable to keep the bitterness from my voice. Wasn't it clear that grieving was a process? I was sure I would emerge from this darkness eventually, wouldn't I?

My scoff must have been louder than I intended, because both Pansy and Mattheo turned to face me.

"Tessa..." Pansy's voice was soft, almost pleading.

I struggled to find words, Mattheo's earlier comments echoing in my mind.

He looked at me with a mix of guilt and weariness.

The guy that stood before me reminded me of the old Mattheo, the one with cold, detached eyes, with bruises marking his face. I guess he went back to his old ways, fighting anyone who looked at him the wrong way.

"Save it," I snapped, my voice sharper then intended.

"It's obvious you both think of me as a broken toy, but I'm fine!" I pushed past them, heading toward the doors with a sense of reckless determination.