Wholly Apart

Chapter 46

MADELYN CAMPBELL

Lo and I didn't go down for the rest of the day. We just stayed in bed, cuddling and not moving. We only went back down at ten pm when Warren came knocking at our door, telling us we had to come out of the room.

I didn't want to go out, didn't want to see anyone or do anything. But Lo kissed me softly, telling me that they were our friends and that we were on this trip for a reason.

And so I went down, clutching his hand tightly. We sat on the sofa and watched a movie and I couldn't relax one bit. I didn't like this room, didn't like that you could see outside and that it was completely dark. Didn't like that I didn't know the house.

I leaned up to Lo and said against his jaw, "I wanna go up"

"The movie's not done," he answered, and I knew he couldn't care less about it. He had just said that because he wanted to keep me down here, wanted me to do something with the others.

"I wanna have sex"

I didn't often tell him so bluntly. I liked when he initiated it, but right now I wanted to leave and I needed a distraction because my thoughts were overwhelming me.

I was absolutely exhausted, but there was no way I was falling asleep without us having sex enough for me to just fall asleep. It was one of those nights.

And even though Lo had only done it once, I needed it again tonight because I hated this house, hated that I didn't know it well and that I didn't know where someone could be hiding.

Lo's hand ran over my knee slowly, eyes in mine deeply, "You need to or want to?"

It had never mattered when he'd needed it.

"Doesn't matter," I argued lowly, because Warren was right next to us, "Let's go up"

He looked at me for a long moment and then shook his head, "We can go up, but we're not fucking"

I frowned deeply, "Yes"

"No," he said again, despite never saying no to me. He always said yes to anything I wanted. And now he wasn't letting me have this.

"Why not?" I asked in confusion.

I needed a distraction and he was saying no to me for the first time. It was so, so unfair.

"Because you need it more than you want it," he explained lowly, keeping his voice so quiet, "And that's not healthy"

"It's not fair," I told him, close to tears because of this, "I want it"

He regarded me for a long second, "We can go upstairs and cuddle"

I got up from the sofa and walked away from him in frustration. I didn't know what was going on with me, but I wasn't even myself. I was acting so weird.

He caught my wrist and stopped me right there in the living room, "Let's go talk in the kitchen"

He didn't want everyone to listen like he knew they would. But I couldn't care less about any of it.

"I need it," I gave in, telling him that I needed it. Maybe it would make him say yes. Maybe it would make him give in to me and distract me for a little.

He looked so overwhelmed with this. Like he wanted to say yes to me, but knew he shouldn't.

"Not today"

Not today? What was that supposed to mean?

I frowned at him, wanting to cry and shout and break down, "You're not being fair, Lo"