Safiyyah

A Consolation

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Na jima a zaune a wannan halin, sai naji alamar an bude kofar dakin an shigo, ban dago kai na ba amma a raina na san waye saboda mu biyu ne kadai a cikin gidan, besides, motsin wheelchair dinsa daban yake da motsin tafiyar sauran mutane. Ban juya na kalle shi ba amma nayi kokarin sassauta kuka na tare kuma da kokarin goge goge hawaye na. Ya jima anan a zaune yana kallo na sannan yace "I knew it. Dana na san kina nan kina kuka. But what I do not know is kukan menene kike yi? Uhmm, fada min, kukan me kike yi".

Na cigaba da goge fuskata da bayan hannun rigata, ina jin yadda already fatar idon ta kumbura. Ya sake tambaya, "ina jin ki? Kukan menene kike yi?" Nace "I want you to get better. I need you to get better" yayi shiru na wani lokaci sannan yace "you know it is not going to happen. Sai kuma menene again?" Na girgiza kaina "shikenan dama. Shine kadai abinda nake yi wa kukan" yace "liar. You are also crying saboda maganar auren ki. Haka ne?" nayi shiru banyi magana ba. Ya sake tambaya ta "ba kya son auren Mukhtar? Kina so a fasa yi da shi?" Nayi shiru still ban ce komai ba. Ya zagayo kujerar sa gaba na yace "Safiyya. Ina so inyi miki aure kafin in tafi in barki. Idan na mutu na barki babu miji this people will tear you apart. Kuma dole in aura miki wanda ba za'a yi bincike ba ballantana a tono abinda ya faru da ke. Wannan ya bar ni da very limited options. I gave you the options. And you chose. Wanda kika zaba ba shi zuciya ta take so ba, ni zuciya ta tafi yarda da ki auri Mustapha. But you adamantly chose Mukhtar. And now you are crying. Tell me why".

Na dago ido na ina kallon sa "Daddy, me yasa kake son Mustapha?" Yace "saboda a hannuna ya tashi, ni na bashi tarbiyya. Saboda mahaifiyarsa ce ta raine ki, ita ta baki tarbiyya. And sometimes family means more than blood. Sa'adatu will never harm you. But I am not so sure about Ahmad" Na dauke kaina gefe nace "you know what they want" yace "and what makes you think cewa su Ahmad ba the same thing suke so ba?" Nayi shiru ban ba shi amsa ba sai ya sake cewa "a rayuwa Safiyya, most of the relationships if not all da zaki shiga, ko ta auratayya ko business ko zamantakewa to trade by batter ake yi, to get something you have to give something. The best logic is ki san abinda mutum yake so daga gare ki, and then use that to get kema abinda kike so".

Nace "Amma Daddy Mustapha fa..." Yace "he didn't do it. Ban san how many times zan gaya miki ba. He didn't do it" nayi shiru ban ce komai ba, bana son gaya wa Daddy abinda Mustapha yayi, bana son inyi using the only card din da nake amfani da shi gurin taming Mustapha.

Jin nayi shiru bance komai ba sai yace "are you changing your mind or not?" Na goge hawaye na tare da girgiza kaina "no. Am not. Ina neman alfarma dai guda daya. Dan Allah Daddy bana son komawa Nigeria. I want to live here. Or somewhere else. Anywhere that is not Nigeria". Ya juyo yana kallona, sai kuma ya juya kujerar sa yayi hanyar fita ba tare da yace min komai ba. Har ya kai bakin kofa sannan ya juyo yace min "about Mukhtar, ko da ana gobe daurin aure ne in kika chanja shawara let me know ni kuma zan tsayar da maganar".

Ban amsa ba nima har ya fita, ban kuma bar space a zuciya ta da zan yi tunani akan maganar ba. Na riga na yanke shawara and I am not going back on it, duk kuwa da zafin da zuciya ta take yi min akan hakan. Yana fita waya ta ta kama kida, na san waye tun kafin ma in kalle ta dan mostly ya kan kira ni by this time. Sai dai sam bana son daukan wayar ta sa. Zuciya ta bata so. Sai nayi murmushi ina mamakin rayuwa ta, yanzu na gama ja in ja da Daddy a kan sa, akan nace shi zan aura, amma kuma still zuciyar ba son sa ta ke yi ba.