Biotanical [h.s]

Motion Sickness

"I hate you for what you did
And I miss you like a little kid."

___
Noa (tw; suicide)

I don't think I could have grasped anything so bad yet relieving at the same time. Yet a part of me even though for how bad he treated me, deep down, I miss him more than ever now that he's gone. Just poof. I didn't cry, I didn't laugh, in that moment, you can't really do anything but take it in. Take in the death. Because there is nothing you can do anymore. Because he's simply gone.

"Hey can you go check the door for me? I'll be right there." I whisper to Clem, the doorbell ringing. I didn't have nor was expecting anything.

She runs to the door, opening it. All I heard next was her scream.

"Daddy! Noa, there is police!" Her voice slightly frightened. I don't think I knew what to do but to run to the front door. Harry followed behind me, his hands in my shoulders.

"Hi, ma'am, I'm sorry to interrupt your holiday, but is this the residence of Noa Turner?" I gulped. What could have possibly happened?

"N-Not my permanent one but yes, sort of." I tell him.

"I'm sorry to inform you, but River Harrison was found dead in his apartment early this morning. I'm sorry for your loss." Fuck.

"I'm sorry, but why am I being notified about this?" I ask. I was confused about everything. Why and how? And where do I come into play?

"Did you not know? You were listed as one of his emergency contacts." It all clicks.

"M-May I ask how?" This was when the hands that once were on my shoulders now weren't and were directing the small girl at our feet to another room.

"He overdosed on his medication. Again, I'm sorry, please carry on with your holiday."

Just like that the door shut and I was stood there to think about everything. Contemplating everything. What had just happened?

It was thanksgiving and I of all people were standing in an apron being told my ex killed himself.

"Baby." A voice comes from behind me. I turn around, his face fallen. It took me a matter of seconds to break down.

"He overdosed. Harry he's fucking dead." I breathed, a few tears running down my cheeks.

"I know, I know. It's okay." He sushed. He held my hand in his neck, rubbing circles on my scalp.

"I hate him, I really do, I don't know why I'm crying. I'm sorry." I apologized. This was probably one of the most uncomfortable situation for him. He was comforting his girlfriend about her ex boyfriend's death.
And to make it clear, an abusive one at that.

"Why don't we take a break yeah? We can order out something if you'd like, whatever you want." He whispers. All my thought were running a mile a minute I couldn't think.

"N-No, I'll cook. Just um, let me do it alone. I need to be alone." He nods.

"Okay, well I'll be in the living room with Clem if you need anything." I hum in response. He lets out a sigh. He's frustrated with me and I get that. I don't know why I am so upset. It wasn't anger.